It's Mara's birthday: Mara, you live in our hearts and inspire us!

Mara 41

Today it was 41 years ago that Mara Galaty was born. She continues to bring joy. Mara, we miss you. Love, David.

The Mara Slideshow by David Mees

This slideshow was compiled by David Mees and shown at Mara's 40th Birthday FUN, Fundraiser at the Avalon Theater on March 29, 2009. David Mees gave a touching introduction explaining that the pictures were taken on his travels with Mara and a few on her last stay in New York. He mentioned there was some nudity in it but that he and Mara's family and friends felt that it was something that Mara would have approved of as it was included to show others that she still felt and looked beautiful even with a double mastectomy.

Mara's 40th Birthday

On Sunday, March 29th, over a hundred of Mara's family (some who flew in from Sweden and Portland, Oregon), friends, colleagues, and breast cancer survivors gathered at the Avalon Cinema on Connecticut Avenue to celebrate Mara's 40th birthday. There were 50 colorful balloons, supplied by Mara's college roomates KSK and Nomi, popcorn, wine, water, and coffee, with ice cream and two big decorated cakes each with a large, stand-up cut-out of pictures Carol had taken of Mara frolicking among ruins.

It was a special evening with an unusual mix of purposes and emotions, organized by Carol. We celebrated Mara's life, remembered her goodness and beauty, and shed tears while finding comfort in fellowship with others who also miss her acutely. It was an evening that combined remembering Mara with reunions with Mara's famiy and friends, fun and a concrete purpose: to encourage donations to the Mara Fund of the Komen for the Cure organization.

Carol opened the "party" by explaining that we were celebrating Mara's 40th birthday because, as most of you will remember, Mara had encouraged her friends to have an up-beat 40th birthday "bash" for her even if she was only able to make it in spirit. Carol then spoke about why we were celebrating it in the way we were, with a fun fund-raiser. She then introduced Mara's immediate family members. David Mees showed photographs from their happy years together,* and Julie, a representative from Komen, spoke about the purpose of the Mara Fund, the fight against breast cancer. Then we watched three funny, yet realistic and touching episodes of "Sex in the City" which dealt with Samantha's breast cancer; her fear of ruining her friend's wedding by telling her she had breast cancer, her friends' difficulty with facing the reality of Samantha's breast cancer and Samantha's adventures with wigs as she worked to overcome her horror of losing her hair.

The next morning, the Bulgarian Ambassador was the host for a small, lovely ceremony at his Embassy to accept a large, exquisite icon, made by Mara's good friend in Bulgaria, Dimo. With short, yet moving speeches by the Bulgarian Ambassador, the former United States Ambassador to Jordan, as well as an Assistant Administrator from USAID, we were once again reminded what an impact Mara had made on the world.



*This was put on the next posting of the Blog by Mara's cousin Aaron Kraft.

Mara and the Mara Fund Semi-annual Update #2

Issue #2, November 2008

MARA’S BIRTHDAY CELEBRA- TIONS AND MARA FUND ACTIVITIES


By Carol Galaty, “Mother of the Mara Fund,” carolgalaty@speakeasy.net

Dear Friends of Mara Galaty and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Mara Fund,

This is the second of a series of semi-annual updates on remembering, celebrating and perpetuating the work of Mara through personal activities and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Mara Fund. We are sending it to friends including those who have given to the Mara Fund. In Part 1, the update includes a report on Mara’s 2008 Birthday activities, the plans for her 2009 40th Birthday Celebration and, in Part 2, a report on Mara Fund Support and Activities.

Before I go further let me thank all of you who have written touching commnets on the Blog. They have made us laugh and cry. It helps to share Mara with all of you. I really do feel her alive as we all continue to live with and pass on to others memories of her, re-experiencing her joy, her love of fun, her seriousness and her whirl wind activies.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS UPDATE ON THE BLOG FOR THE FIRST TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE EMAIL, OR SNAIL MAIL MAILING LIST PLEASE EMIAL YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION TO: carolgalaty@speakeasy.net.

As you see, we are still using Mara’s Blog as a site for communicating with Mara’s friends. You may have noticed that David Mees, Mara’s partner, has been giving us precious new glimpses into Mara’s life through wonderful pictures and stories on the Blog. If you have never checked the Blog, or haven’t checked the Blog in a while you may wish to do so.

As most of you know, we started the Mara Fund in memory and continuation of the work of Marguerite “Mara” Rose Galaty, to support activities in countries where shame is the major obstacle to early detection and treatment of breast cancer. The Fund targets under-privileged communities in less-developed countries-- the type of place where Mara was active.

Once again we would like to thank all of you who have contributed to the Mara Fund. We would also like to invite those who have not donated to make a donation, and encourage all of you to help us continue and grow the important international work of Susan G. Komen for the Cure that is funded by the Mara Fund. We would greatly appreicate it if you would make recurring donations and share this information with your friends who might also make donations for women around the world as well as Mara.

In the first year of its existance, $60,000 was donated to the Mara Fund. We have set as a goal adding $40,000.00 to tha Mara Fund in honor of Mara's 40th birthday in March 2009. If you want to make a donation it can be done on line at: www.komen.org/marafund.





ABOVE: The Mara Galaty Memorial in the Embassy in Amman, Jordan: top, during Mara’s Memorial Service, December 2007, and below during a remembrance Service for Mara in November 2008.

Part 1 - MARA’S BIRTHDAY ACTIVITIES – March 29th

Many of you may recall there were two suggestions for celebrating Mara’s birthday that friends made to Mara and that she liked. One was an idea for an annual celebration of her birthday by friends doing something special for others on that day that they might not otherwise have done. The second was to celebrate Mara’s 40th birthday, which she had tried to reach but, as we know, she did not live to see.

1. Mara’s Birthday, March 29th, 2008 – Many of Mara’s friends wrote me about the special things they did on her birthday, just before or just after. Some of the activities in memory of Mara were small, others large; they ran the gamut… Let me just share just a few of the very different things people sent me and encourage all of you to schedule an activity for Mara’s next birthday, March 29th 2009.

• Mara’s step-mother, Debby Galaty, in Portland, Oregon wrote of Mara’s father and two step sisters: “Dave, Laurel and I spent a reflective weekend because we felt it would be too hard to be social on that day. So we walked on the beach, quietly remembering Mara and talking about the things that we are been doing in her memory.... Kassel is in Morocco right now and has donated to an orphanage in Mara's memory. Carol [Mara’s mother] and Dave were married in Morocco so it seemed fitting that a "Mara ripple" get set into motion there! We are selling pendants at a cancer awareness event on her birthday in New York and all of the proceeds will go to the Mara Fund. In addition, an Art gallery in Wisconsin is selling “Mara Pendants” I made and sending all proceeds to the Mara Fund.

• One of Mara’s high school friends, Justin Freer, who raised over $1,000 from high school friends for the Mara Fund, put together a family team for the two day, 39 mile, Avon Walk for Breast Cancer named “LivFreer 4 Mara Galaty.”

• Anna Young wrote: “…the Mercy Corps contingent in Portland Oregon had an ice cream social to raise money for the Mara Fund. Also to let you know that the book group that Mara and I attended, met last night. We were talking about how to become more active in the world and said how we wanted to do what we did in Mara's honor. I think we will be doing two activities a year - one to support international development of some sort and another to support children and families here in Portland.

• Kina Markova, the headmistress of Mara’s school in Bulgaria wrote to me saying: and I quote exactly: “Today is a special day for all of us! It's Mara's Birthday! And we again and again, always, remember her! Her smile, her benevolence, the warmth and the light that Mara gave to all of us----this was Mara! May be her mission, which she had here on the Earth was to show us how gratuitously [stet] dedicated a person can be and how many great things a young girl can do! Today I went to church and kindle a candle in her honor. I wrote to the American Ambassador in Bulgaria, Mr. John R. Bayrle about Mara. I want him to know what daughters the Great American Nation has. I wrote also to a friend of a Mara - Jeni Alexandrova, which who a talk show in Bulgaria. My dearest friend, surely today you will go and bring Mara flowers. Please put flowers on her grave from me too!”

• Lisa Dominico in Portland, Oregon wrote: If you recall, Mara’s family had suggested that a great way to celebrate Mara’s life, would be to “mark” her birthday with some sort of community service. Part of what I learned from Mara about her work as a Civil Society advocate, is that communities need, in part, 1) fair and open elections, 2) free press and 3) non-corrupt judicial systems. On Sat, March 29th (her birthday), there was a voter registration event held in Portland, that was organized by the Obama headquarters. (I tried to find an event not associated with any particular candidate, but wasn’t successful.) It was not my intention to campaign for anyone, just get people registered to vote! This was not something I had ever done and in fact, I think that was something else they asked us to do – something we wouldn’t otherwise think to do!

• Ann Bisgyer added: In Portland many of us from her support group - thinking of how Mara was such a civic minded person- we are conducting a register to vote drive as our volunteer activity. I wish we could affect the countries she did - but feeling like we are making a difference here also helps.

• From Jordan, David Mees wrote: Last week the State Univ. of New York people presented gifts to an orphanage in Mara's honor. It was actually a very nice and touching visit. We saw their bedrooms, with a couple dozen beds lined up. I also happened to be at the Embassy's Medical Unit (scheduling a physical) and the nurse told me what a tangible effect last year's session -- at which Mara famously bared her chest – had. Hard to believe that she was here just a year ago to do this!!! Two women's breast cancers were detected at an early stage, just in the Embassy community alone and I amplified the message that was sent this year to all the women in the Embassy reminding them of this.

• One of Mara’s closest friends since childhood, KSK, tried to organize a group activity, but due to family complications she had to give up on organizing. She reported that she started to feel badly about not doing it, and then thought of Mara saying, “Don’t stress yourself.” So she spent the day thinking about Mara and talking about Mara with friends and family and “didn’t stress!”

• In Washington, DC I, Mara’s mother, held a birthday brunch for Mara, attended by 26 of her friends, family and one dove. I then went and planted tulips on her grave. But the visit convinced me that Mara was not at her grave site, but with all of her friends and family.

2. Mara’s 40th Birthday Fund Raising Celebration, March 29th, 2009 - Mara’s goal was to reach the age of 40 and, when she learned that she was only going to live to the age of 38, she said that she still wanted people to celebrate her 40th birthday and have a blast as she would have!

Remembering this, Mara’s 40th “Birthday Bash” will be a FUN, fund raiser for the Mara Fund. It will be held on her 40th birthday, March 29th, 2009, from 8:00pm to 10:00pm at the Avalon Theater, Chevy Chase Circle in Washington, DC. For those of you who live in the Washington DC area, or can make it to DC for her birthday, I invite you to join us, as well as a number of men and women who support cancer prevention activities, to celebrate her birthday.

Mara’s cousins and friends are working with me to arrange this event. We are still in the final planning stage BUT we will be sending out official invitations when they are definite. So, at this time, please save the date. We plan to have the party start with two, three minute short films; one, a David Mees' slideshow about Mara with a musical accompaniment, and the second a Susan G. Komen for the Cure documentary about women who are afraid to get screened and treated for breast cancer. There will be a Susan G. Komen representative at the Theater to present the film and talk a bit about the Mara Fund. We will then show the Breast Cancer related "Sex in the City" episodes with one or two of the people involved in the program there to talk about the breast cancer focus. If we are very lucky one of these may be Cynthia Nixon, but we have not heard whether she can make it. Then, following the movie we will have a birthday cake, ice cream and coffee with a band playing up-beat music.

Additional fund raising activities for her birthday include selling hard copies of the Mara Blog with photos and comments as well as selling “Mara pendants” and copies of the book “David, Mormor, Horno, and the Yak: an Alphabet Mystery” a book about her nephew which is dedicated to her.

Part 2 - THE MARA FUND - SUPPORT AND ACTIVITIES

As most of you know, with the “Mara Fund,” the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation addresses the issue of overcoming shame through its international breast cancer awareness programs. Using the example of Mara Galaty, who was “un-embarrassable” when speaking of her fight with breast cancer, the Mara Fund will promote the local emergence of breast cancer survivor networks in countries in order to spread the message that cancer should not be a cause for shame, that symptoms should be immediately checked out, and that survival rates will go up dramatically the earlier diagnosis take place.

Thanks to all of your donations, the Mara Fund has become a successful part of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Global Promise Fund. With over 206 people donating (some of them more than once), since last February, the Mara Fund has raised $59,441.08. As the “Mother” of the Mara Fund, Komen officials have worked closely with me to help steer the focus of the Fund and to involve me in activities that promote or were supported by the Mara Fund. The Mara Fund is used to make competitive grants to organizations and to advance Komen's important work overseas in areas that reflect Mara’s drive and “un-embarrassable” approach to dealing with breast cancer. With many more projects under consideration, the activities of the Mara Fund have been involved with in 2008 include:

1. Two Washington Symposiums - One panel discussion at the Washington Hilton on Cancer Research in March, and one, in October at the White House on Breast Cancer Awareness, had Komen officials on the panels. At both sessions a flyer about the Mara Fund was distributed. At the White House conference, not only did Ambassador Nancy Brinker, mention the Mara Fund, but she and Hala Moddelmog, President and CEO of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure, actually talked about Mara, her life and her “unembarrassable” approach to promoting breast cancer awareness, screening and treatment. This was the conference which took place during Breast Cancer awareness month and they lit the White House pink. I was very proud, seated between the wife of the Ambassador from Iceland and the Ambassador (male) from Swaziland, when they discussed Mara, why the Mara Fund was set up and its importance in countries where breast cancer was considered shameful.

2. Conference in Amman, Jordan - The Mara Fund also gave a grant to help sponsor the October 31, 2008 US-Middle East Partnership for Breast Cancer Awareness and Research. It was the first Middle East and North Africa (MENA) Regional Breast Cancer Advocacy Conference marking another significant milestone in the collaborative efforts in which Mara participated that began in 2006 when the Partnership was launched by United States First Lady Laura Bush. The goal of the Partnership is to reduce breast cancer mortality in MENA by uniting local champions in the United States and the MENA region to exchange ideas, and collaborate on research, outreach, and awareness programs, with a focus on breast cancer through the lens of advocacy and awareness work. It brought together more than 100 leading breast cancer advocates, survivors, government officials, and physicians from 15 MENA countries and the United States, representing over 30 organizations that range from national cancer societies to local support groups. The conference fostered dialogue about the challenges facing breast cancer advocates, opened channels of communication between advocates, and taught strategies to improve the efficacy of efforts against breast cancer in participants’ communities.

3. The 5th National Conference on Health Issues in the Arab American Community – Again Mara Fund flyers were in each conference kit and tributes to Mara’s life and work were part of this conference in Dearborn, Michigan in November. However this time the Mara Fund was also one of the “Platinum” sponsors funding this conference. Dearborn is the largest center of Arab-Americans in the United States and as new refugees are brought into the United States from Iraq and other Arab countries they are all required to come through Dearborn for medical assessment, triage and treatment. In the past few months thousands of refugees have come to through Dearborn and even larger numbers are expected as the war in the Middle East gears down.

While called “National,” the Conference was attended by Arabs and Arabists from around the world and the focus of many of the sessions were on the health disparities, psychological, medical and cultural aspects of screening and treating breast cancer in Arab women not only in the United States but in Arab countries. There were fascinating discussions of health concerns in Arab countries and ways in which they influenced recommendations for approaches to treating newly arrived Arab refugees as they adapted to life in the United States. Panelists and participants highlighted special health problems of Arab populations and made recommendations on ways to better analyze and overcome them.

BELOW: At the 5th National Conference on Health Issues in the Arab American Community, Dearborn, Michigan, Carol Galaty with Dr. Shahla Masood, who is convening a Regional Breast Cancer Conference in Cairo in 2009 and the list of major funders which included information on the poster as well as information in every conference kit on Mara and the Susan G Komen for the Cure Mara Fund.

Mara and the Smart

Mara used to squeal with delight whenever we saw a Smart car. I remember our first coming across them together when we visited Rome. I believe that was in 2005. They are a daily reminder of Mara now that I am in Rome, where they are common. As you can see from the photo one can -legally- park the vehicle perpendicular to the sidewalk, when no one (actually hardly anyone) else can. Here the name is pronounced "Zmaarrt." There is a dealership that has a glass tower full of them, like candies. I saw it once from a taxi; if I come across it again I'll take a picture.

A Year Ago

Has an entire year passed since those intense weeks when Mara suffered, and the horrible day she died? It still seems very close in time.

Mara believed in life after death: living on in all of us. For us it is a challenge of course, especially now, to overcome sadness and to focus on the privilege of having known her and been one of the lucky people whom she touched.

I miss Mara. Having moved to Rome some weeks ago and having traveled to Sicily and to Venice... every thing of beauty is both wonderful and terrible. Mara would enjoy these places so much. Earlier today I crossed the Tiber, walking over the old Ponte Sisto. It was late afternoon, and I stopped midway to reflect on the time Mara and I had walked there together. Then, as today, there were tens of thousands of starlings in the sky. Happiness with grief.

Thanks to all who have been in touch! You have been such great support. In September I spent some time with Carol and Gil, and saw Mara's Washington friends.

My friend Claudia wrote a few days ago. I'll share it:

"Dear David, I have thought of you often and of Mara. I sometimes feel I do not have the right to bring her up, as the pain must be so difficult, yet of course she was part of you and I should probably bring her up more. She will always be there for you.

I look at Ed and can't imagine him not here, yet you do not have that luxury. And of course Mara was so young, too young, and so amazing. It's interesting that I feel I really knew her, when actually we were just new friends. She was so special that I think she made everyone she met feel special. I'm not sure where she got her strength, but she had it. And she taught me a lot, right in the midst of my own health scare. Like an angel, there to talk openly, explain, discuss. Our drive to Tel Aviv was a special time together.

I think of her as being with us always, right there. Now in my mind, looking down on a sunny day at you walking in Rome, so happy that you are there. (I'm somehow sure she made that happen from above... and I'm not religious!)

She knows you have to be sad, but also doesn't want you to be... and yet it is part of your love and deep caring relationship that of course requires mourning.

At this impossible-to-believe, first-year anniversary of Mara's being gone I wanted you to know how much I care."

Thank you, Claudia. That helps.

David

Looking for Mara

In these beautiful end-of-Summer days, it is impossible not to remember back one year, when the new melanoma symptoms revealed themselves. Mara began an awful and relatively short last battle.

Without setting out to do this consciously, I am revisting -on home leave- many of the places where I took Mara. Right now I'm back with my cousins Tim and Judith whose daughters, Susannah and Mary Louisa, Mara loved. They shared much laughter. Eleven months ago we took a vacation from her radiation treatment here, our last vacation together.

Mara and I had had happy times on Mount Desert Island, including the cottage in Manset right on the water.

On the way to Aunt Sue's house there is a bridge over a creek, with Mount Bernard in the background. Everyone stops to snap a picture there.

Then I drove to Vermont, to a place called Blueberry Hill, with a lovely farm that dates from about 1813. It is now an inn where Mara and I stayed at the height of the fiery Fall foliage season in 2006. I went back to the same lake whose cool, sunlit surroundings seemed ablaze when I was there with Mara. It is different in the green warmth of summer, though the bottom of the lake is reddish.

There are white rocks of marble. I saw one bright red leaf of the type that Mara and I had collected by the dozens.

The American Eagle

This is the Gloucester fishing schooner from 1930 on which Mara and I enjoyed a four-day cruise in the summer of 2005. Earlier this week I wore the shirt bearing a picture of the American Eagle that I had bought at the end of that trip. Within hours she entered Southwest Harbor and cast anchor. Will and I rowed the Aunt Sue out to the ship and asked for captain John Foss, but the mate said he was catching up on sleep as they had sailed through the night from Eastport. She spent that night in the harbor. Here she is getting under way the next morning.

Two days later Will and I were bicycling on the carriage roads of Acadia National Park. At one point I realized I had lost my expensive sunglasses and went looking for them. At the spot where I had been picking blueberries and huckleberries a family with bicycles was standing in the road. I asked whether they had seen sunglasses, but all they said was "We know you." It was the couple from the trip on the American Eagle that had taken the pictures on board of Mara and me featured on this website. Kitt and... how quickly I forget! They had their two children with them, and since 2005 had moved from Maryland to Vermont. Our chance meeting allowed me to tell them about Mara.

Mara's Sweater

Last week when visiting Carol and Gil, I picked up a wonderful birthday present from Mara. She had started knitting a beautiful sweater for me. By the time of her death Mara had finished the front and back of it. I had no idea whether it would ever be completed when her aunt, Sally Popper, offered to give it a try. She quickly determined that she could do it and worked on it over the winter. The result, I think you will agree, is magnificent. I am delighted and, now on vacation in Maine, wear it proudly. Thank you, Mara; thank you, Sally!



Photo by Will Morrison