Mara is home in Washington. Yesterday evening her melanoma oncologist, Dr. Jedd Wolchok, came to say good-bye to her. He pledged to devote all his energies to finding a cure for the benefit of future melanoma patients. He thanked Mara for the trust she had placed in him, and Mara responded "it remains." He said he was sorry that the outcome for her is bad, but Mara said "thank you" for the care he had given her.
The hospital came through when I requested a private room for Mara, as the noise level from the other side of the curtain the night before had been quite bothersome. Dr. Wolchok helped wheel Mara's bed to the new room and Carol took a picture of us.
At the very end of Mara's stay at Sloan-Kettering, a few of Mara's relatives and oldest friends who live in New York also stopped by to help with tasks and were able to say a very quick good-bye to Mara.
Yesterday, she had little energy to respond. Today she is basically unable to respond at all although you can tell that she is hearing some of what is said.
Carol took a photo of Mara in the ambulance this morning. Aunt Mary and I followed in a rented car, right behind.
Finally the great moment came: Mara's arrival at Carol and Gil's house on S street. However, it was not without its problems. Those who know our house know that Mara's room is on the third floor, and it was not possible to get Mara up there. A hospital room has been set up in the living room complete with hospital bed, a night nurse and hospice care.
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45 comments:
Mara,
It's good that you are home at last. Despite it all, We still see only the beautiful person that you are shining ever so brightly.
May you have only the sweetest dreams tonight.
With all our love,
Blanche & Ziv
Thank you for writing Mara's story. Unfortunately, it is very painful and tearful to read it. I remember the times we would see Mara and Elise at the cabin or at Galaty gatherings. She had a glow of health, education, and energy around her. Through the years, we have stayed in contact by Aunt Diane or Uncle Dick's updates. In the past month, Mara's email has been passed between us.
Your family is in our prayers.
The Schneider Family
Carol and George
Art, John, Karen, Kris, and Lissa
Dearest Mara,
Welcome home, the perfect place for you to rest in the love that surrounds you and that will last for eternity. We love you Mara...We love you Mara...We love you Mara...
Cali, Andy, Emma and Maddie
Mara, "May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand." I love you. Aunt Diane
Dear Mara, Carol, and David,
I am so relieved that you are home. Please give Mara a hug and kiss from me and tell her how very, very much I love her. Thank you for giving her such incredible love and care.
Love,
Jodi
Beautiful Mara,
Words are failing me right now. I just want to be sure that you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. There is a part of me that will never be the same.
My love forever,
Laurie
Welcome home Mara - I walked past your house on the street tonight and blew a kiss to the windows. Actually, I blew a kiss to several windows because i wasn't sure exactly which house you were.
I still have memories of you giving a tour of the house when everyone was out one day. I fell in love with that bathroom on the top floor. Sorry you can't luxuriate in it but every corner of that house has a story to it.
Sending you so much love....
Anna
Mara,
I just found out about this blog so excuse my lateness. You are, and always have been, in my heart and soul. Stay strong. Your strength and fight have always been an inspiration to us all. I don't expect that to change.
Congratulations on your return home. I know how much love always surrounds you, no matter where you are, but home is home.
Always in my heart,
Avi and Nico (wonderdog)
Mara, my Precious One!
This peaceful journey you are taking, my love...may it be blessed!
May Love and Light be all around you forever! May Love and Light stay with you forever, like now.
I know you are at peace now. With so much love that you have given, and so much love that has been raining over you, you must be in the Blissful Light.
I love you so much.
I love you so much!
Zlatna
Dear Mara, David, Carol and Mary,
"Those who understand
The beauty of deepest night
Have, I think, a bond
As extraordinary
As the setting moon is bright."
(Tsuchimikado-in no Kozaisho)
Mara, you are like the beautiful moon. Your love, humor and grace shine down on us. David, Carol and Mary, the love you are giving Mara, helping through this passage, is phenomenal. It is this bond that the poet spoke of. I hope that you are deriving some comfort from these messages and that you realize that we are all here for you, even though some of us may not have met.
So glad that you are in a place of happiness. Love, JMRR
Dearest Mara,
I have been reading your news every day to check on you but words have been failing me as what can I write to relieve you of your suffering..I feel small for writing anything but this morning I am thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful restful stay at your home with the people you love the most. It is amazing to see the love that surrounds and follows you from every part of the world..this means you have succeeded in this life, as you managed to touch so many people's lives!!! Our prayers go out to you from Amman. Love to all, and thank you for showing us all what it means to love someone.
Mara,
Welcome home; may you feel the love and warmth and support we know are surrounding you as you continue your journey, and may you be at peace. We love you.
Carol, Gil, David and all of Mara's family,
We send our love to you all; you're in our thoughts constantly. And a very special thank you, David, for these daily updates -- they mean so very much to us.
With love and affection,
Charlotte and Jon
This silly-sounding blog-poster is really Deborah Warren from Portland. Mara, I have been thinking of you every day.I am glad that you have come home--may love surround you there.
All my love,
Deborah
Mara:
Tonight Judy D, Claire S, Katarina and I made a dinner and sat around my table and celebrated you.
We talked about your tremendous spirit, an energy so big that it brought all of us (and many more people) together.
There were tales of how Katya met you, of the time we held a chocolate martini sleepover after we expelled a 19th century unwanted visitor from Manchester Lane, any much more.
Mara, I think if I had to describe your profession it would not be democracy and conflict specialist; it would be blanket weaver.
Because it astounds me how one person could thread together so many lives. It is as if, when no one was looking, you breathed your spirit and essence between the molecules of air that float in a room and fill the void between your many friends
Within hours, the molecules you touched expand and grab hold of each body. While these friends share conversation and laughter and wine, the molecules stretch and ultimately contract to draw FOMs (Friends of Mara) closer,to thread them together, to bring them into a common bond all because of you.
And then the cell phones start ringing. "Hi Mom," I say as she calls to ask about you (ok, she pronounces it "Maura," but that's my mom! Claire's cell rings and it's Laura G, who shouts out to people she only knows by blog.
Katya recounts the evening that brought her and Fedya and Malia and you and I together in my back yard for the first time, over sushi and warm summer breezes.
And then as the evening wears on, we continue our talk, each of us knowing how much richer our lives are because of one common factor: Mara.
Love,
LizMcK
Mara,
Am so glad to hear you are home. There is nothing like being in familiar, cozy, loving surroundings...I am writing this from Afghanistan so I know!
I hope the music I sent you via your cousn's address made it to you. From Afghanistan, I did not know where you would be and when.
Am so thankful for your blog as even here I can see your lovely self. When in Bamiyan I said a prayer for you in front of the giant niche where the ancient Buddha used to be.
Rest, sleep well, know many people around the world are thinking of you...
Love,
Michelle
Mara,
From the first day I met you in the Young Survivors group, I have found you to be the most honest and wonderful inspiration to me. A funny, brilliant, generous, alive woman with the pulse of all things at your fingers. I have always felt that you and I will be friends forever, and we will. I am always in your debt for making life as a breast cancer survivor actually funny and fun! I know that you are inscribed in the book of life as a powerful and permanent source of light and love on this tiny troubled planet. I count myself among the lucky ones to have you as my friend. I thank your family and David and all your many many friends around the world for caring for you so beautifully.
Sweet Mara, know that you are held tight tonight and always by love and prayer, goodness and wholeness. With all my love, JO
Welcome home.
We send our love to all of you.
Eden and Marc Bruner
Mara,
Knowing you enriches my life. Your courage, grace, and immense generosity inspire all of us. Imagine crowds of people who love you, gathered around your bed, singing,smiling, and stroking your arm.
Love and hugs,
Joanne in Portland
Rest now at home and finish this painful journey surrounded by comfort and love. Although you have caused many tears these past weeks, it is the thousands of times that you brought laughter and light that we will remember. I wish so very much that you did not have to leave us. It is cruel and unfair. But know that your beauty and energy will endure through us and all the other people around the world that you have touched. You will always be a part of us.
Carol and David, we are sending our love and energy to you both. May your hands and arms pass on to Mara the love of all of us who can not be there in person.
Mara, we love you now and always,
Tracy & Niklas
Dear Mara,
This is a day filled with joy and pain. My contractions started last night and we are getting ready to welcome a new life into this world. At the same time we are thinking of you constantly and pray that you are not in pain and feeling peaceful. We send all of our love out to you and your family at home in Washington.
Much love,
Kristina, Terry, Heike and the unborn babe
Mara, I am so happy to hear that you are home, and with the surroundings that we all know and love. I remember all the wonderful days at your house -- the good talks, the smiles, the crazy stories. Those memories of our friendship and the good times are vibrant in my mind. Take some peace in knowing that your surroundings are full of your history, and that your friends are with you always. I love you, Kristina
Mara,
Welcome home. And as Kristina said, it is a time of joy and pain, and passages. Be at peace, you will live on for so long in our hearts and minds.
Julia
Dear Mara,
Welcome home! I just want you to know how very much we love you...You have truly touched our lives...
Jack, Linda & Audrey
Hi Mara,
it is great that you are home !
Much love and a huge kiss from David's Dutchies and an even bigger one from Jeroen and me.
Hugs also for David, Carol and Julia.
Dag! Jeroen and Ems
Welcome home Mara!
I'm glad you're home.
Love,
Kim
Dear Mara, welcome home to a house of happy memories, and a town stocked with people lucky to have shared some of them. Love, Charles and Pamela
Dearest Mara, The USAID/Jordan mission became a better place after you breathed into our lives and showed us what it means to be really alive and full of spirit and optimism for life. You made us understand that everything is possible if we just had the right attitude. I've been following your blog and saw your pictures, and can tell that this spirit is still in you. No matter what the future brings you, I know you're strong enough to take it with a smile. You have been a true inspiration to me and I thank God everyday that I've had the chance to meet you. My outlook at life now is "What would Mara do or how would she respond?" Words cannot thank you enough for fighting our fight. We love you. You will always be in our hearts and souls.
Cheers, Kenana
Dear Mara,
I'm glad you're home, still surrounded with the love and comfort of your family. You have given me so much inspiration since the first time we met almost two years ago. I had never met anyone with such honesty, clarity, joy and courage -- you bring out the best in everyone who knows you, and we all love you.
You, David and your wonderful family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Anne
Dearest Mara,
Welcome home to a house and a city full of people who love you. You my sweet friend have been an angel to me and so many others on this earth. When I think back to our meeting I know it was fated. I’ll never forget that first day at SAIS when you came up to me and said, “hey we are the only two people here who went to Madison!” and then was it a shock to discover that we had gone to the same elementary school, junior high school, high school, undergraduate university, were in the Balkans at the same time and then only in grad school did we meet. I don’t have a single memory of SC&D that doesn’t involve you some how. I remember when we wrote our masters thesis together, and even though it was a challenging task, I often felt as though we were the only ones who understood each other and what we were trying to learn.
Our journey together continued post SAIS, when because of you I wound up in Germany. I’m so grateful for the time we had overseas as well, the many times throughout Europe, you coming to Uzbekistan (an immeasurable gift), and me this summer being with you in Jordan. I have always loved you like a sister and it still amazes me how much we were able to share, not just through geography and studies but on a soul level too. I could discuss spirituality with you, and both our journeys, the many ups and downs, the relationships the politics, the light and shadow of it all.
There will never be another like you in my life on this planet, but I know I will carry you in my heart always. You have touched me at my core, you have and continue to inspire me and give me hope for how people can be in this world – so open, so loving, so willing to learn from others, so slow to anger, so slow to judge…your whole life is an example of how to make this world a better place. It is my greatest wish that I can reflect some the light you shine.
I love you with all my heart Mara and I know you will be with me always.
Aimee
Carol and Gil,
My heart aches for you both, please know I am here if ever you need anything, in this time or after. I am a moment away. Thank you for your home, so full of love, that was always open to us all. Aimee
Welcome home Mara!
All my love to you and your family,
janet
Mara,
From the clear blue skies of Morocco to your home in DC, I send you much love and wish you peace on your journey. You have faced this cruel twist of fate with more grace and courage than anyone I have ever known. And in the meantime, you have brought together countless groups of special people whose lives have been forever touched by your intellect, spirit, humor, and determination to make the world a better place. Mission accomplished my dear.
We thank you. We love you. And we will forever be with you.
love,
Jules
Mara,
You are ever present with me and with so many around the world. I carry you with me and do my best to live by your example. You are light and I love you so. Thank you for being your incredible self, thank you for sharing this life with us. You can rest with your beloveds, breathe deeply, be held by us all, know you are surrounded by light and love and peace. I also give my love and deepest gratitude to your David and mother and sister and father and all your family. Te quiero siempre, Paula
Dear Mara, I am glad you have come home, and glad we can all come with you. You will always have our strength and our love, just as we will always have you in our hearts and spirits. You shall be forever be home wherever we are home for you have made the world yours. We are fortunate and better off for that. I just pray so hard that the pain I feel is somehow lessening yours. And I hope that if there is any justice in this world, then you and Carol and Gill and Daddy Dave and David shall feel peace and love and the smiling eyes of all of your family and friends. Now and forever. I love you, Rob
Another bit of Mara-inspired behavior: I held hands with my 7-yr-old daughter, Katherine, and we skipped to the car after her soccer game. She's old enough now to realize that she can't hug her friends on the opposing team during the game or skip upfield when her team has the ball, but you can tell she and the other girls want to. I thought, hmmm, who says you can't do those things?
My thoughts and prayers are constantly with you, Mara, I'm glad you're home and surrounded by loved ones. Another indirect bit of Mara-inspired behavior: I've been so extraordinarily distracted by concern for you over the past couple of days, this morning I cut the bejeezus out of my face shaving and forgot to wash my hair in the shower. Of course, I had to tell my friends at the soccer game that I had done so, much to our mutual amusement!
Your strong spirit, curiosity, and love of fun has really given me a boost over the last couple years, re-energizing my attempts to teach my kids to be their own person. I cannot imagine a better outcome than if my children were to develop into the person you are, Mara.
Carol, Gil, David, and all other FamOM and FrOM who have been right there to help, every atom of my soul cries out in sympathy. I cannot comprehend your sorrow, and I hope that I would have your strength and compassion in this situation.
Stay strong, Andrew (Donna/Ted/Katherine)
Since I feel Washington is my other home I can say welcome home too!
I only wish I was there to put my arms around you and let all the love I have for you float through.
As someone else said, it is a time of mixed feelings, a huge sadness, yet a bit of relief that the endless tests,uncertanities and hardships you have gone through will now be over. It is a time to just accept all the love that people all over the world are sending (I think you even beat out Santa Clause- and you don't have to do that late ride in the freezing cold.)
As I have known you, and know how you have enhanced my life. I want you, your family and friends to know that I have learned and grown from this blog. I have never seen such an outpouring of love, understanding and caring as I have over the past months. It humbles me to be a part of it. Thank you Mara for bringing together such amazing people from all over the world.
And being one who has been on the other side, I know how hard this is on the caregivers - Carol, David, Mary and all the others who have been with you all along. (Mary - I sent a bracelet to Mara via you- I hope she got a chance to get it before leaving NY) I want to toast you all for being the front line in talking care of ( I want to say My Mara; but that is way too selfish, I can't make that claim - so OUR Mara) YOU all are wonderful.
So I am sending warm comforting and snuggle up messages to you. Just sleep, eat some chicken soup when you can, and be at peace.
With all the love I have in my heart for you
Ann ( and John and AD - and I have to add Maddie and Sue too!)
Please let Mara know that I will be planting an oak tree on a hill on my farm in Ontario in her honor. To me, an oak symbolizes courage, steadfastness, strength, integrity - attributes that I remember about her. Blessings to Mara and to those who are caring for her.
Lowell
Welcome home Mara- its so good to know that you are in your own home with the people that love you the most.
I wanted to tell you that I still have the blanket you had in the Dungeon- the one made by Guatemalan women (I think). Karen Jackson saved it for me when I left for Darfur and one day I received it in the mail! I was so happy to have it again. The blanket has your name written all over it and I've always remembered you when I used it. Also, when my father visited me in NY earlier this year, he commented on the beautiful mirror I had on the wall- it is the one you got me from Mexico.
Thank you Mara, for being such an amazing person and a great leader. I will forever be one of your greatest fans.
All my love,
Su'ad
Dear Mara,
It is good to know that you are at home surrounded by loved ones and away from a clinical environment complete with sometime noisy neighbors.
I made a gift in your honor Mara to Fair Fund NGO (run by an wonderful young international leader you'd like)towards empowering young women in the USA and internationally and in preventing violence againt women including trafficking in persons.
The funds may be used to give an orphan girl in E&E the job skills training she needs to find a job and protect herself from human trafficking and also to empower two young American women in their efforts to change campus policies related to reporting violence against women.
I thought this was fitting as you are such an empowering person and an example to so very very many people all around the world.
You, your family and friends continue to be in my prayers and thoughts.
Wishing you peace and comfort, and sending you big virtual hugs.
love, Ruth
Dear Mara,
Very glad to see you back at home. I remember very clearly the house tour you gave me a few years back - a better place to return to I can't imagine! Wanted to let you know that I shared a pint with Kate Hamilton the other night in London. I think you'll remember her - Englishwoman who served on an interim basis as MC Georgia program director during the summer and fall of 04, when you came out with USAID. She remembers you well, and asked me to pass along her regards. I especially remember our dinner in Tbilisi during that summer - I think we went to Sans Souci in the old town, right? And i have a few photos of another dinner we had during that trip - you, me, and Steve Claborne, all mugging for the camera!
Suz and I are in our new place in Brooklyn now, just cooking up a late lunch (okay, Suz is doing the cooking, but I did the chopping!). Please know that we, like so many other friends, are thinking of you. Much love, George
Dear Mara,
We keep thinking of you and how even now during some of the most difficult times, you continue to bring inspiration by sharing your story and communicating with us all. You have an openness that is remarkable and we all appreciate it.
As George was writing earlier, I was attempting to take advantage of my Spanish roots and was making a tortilla. Hmmm. Not sure my grandmother would exactly be happy with the messy "flip" I just did - but after flipping it a few times, it actually looks pretty good.
You and I have had some pretty special meals and wonderful conversation in DC. I was so impressed when I first moved there, as I still am, by the way you shared so many thoughts and emotions almost instantaneously. No pretense, no fluff. Just real. Thanks for sharing even now through some pretty extraordinary people you have surrounding you.
You are the best Mara, we love you!
Susan
Dearest Mara, Welcome home as you begin your next journey. You have been such an inspiration to all of us. I relish the memories of us the Balkan Group sharing stories, laughing over mishpas, shaking our heads in bewilderment on the state of the world and being in awe of the many people we all knew in those war torn countries that everyday get up to make their countries better than they were the day before. You were such a part of that can do attitude. And then you introduced us to Mexico and to your little bit of heaven in Progresso -- god how we loved our time there and Ian to this day still asks to go back to explore the Mayan civilization that is so rich there. Dear Mara, I know that I can't come to say good bye and to thank you for all that you are and for all you have been to me. I pray for you and hope that your next stage of this journey is painfree and peaceful. Peace be with you my friend, colleague and woman in arms!! Love you -- Sarah
Mara,
I am glad you are home. You truly are an inspiration to so many. I was skyping with Enrique Roig this past week. He too was reminiscing about the way you wove a little bit of you in everything we did at the Corps. That is why civil society really came alive in the field...you lived it, breathed it and everyone felt it the instant they interacted with you.
I was going through old files last night and found several e-mails with you about so many of the programs you touched -- Mongolia, Tajikistan, Kosovo, Guatemala, Sudan, Jordan, Uzbekistan, Serbia, Georgia and so on....you sprinkled a little bit of Mara all over the world and it is a better place as a result.
Our love to you and to Carol, David and your whole family.
Love,
Karen, Mike, Miles and Macy
Dearest Mara,
I am so glad that you are home -- in a quiet place among your closest loved ones. Thank you for your immediate friendship when we first met, and your wise counsel, support and laughter ever since. You have been a constant source of smiles and strength -- including on our early morning runs before you moved to Jordan. And, there is no one else I would rather have been riding with on the road from Batumi to Tbilisi when our driver swerved, breaked, and barely missed the cow crossing the road. Rest, and be at peace, as you begin your next journey.
With all my love,
Claudia
David
tears,'
lovE you,ems
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