MaraBlog

Mara 41

2010-03-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

Today it was 41 years ago that Mara Galaty was born. She continues to bring joy. Mara, we miss you. Love, David.

The Mara Slideshow by David Mees

2009-04-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

This slideshow was compiled by David Mees and shown at Mara's 40th Birthday FUN, Fundraiser at the Avalon Theater on March 29, 2009. David Mees gave a touching introduction explaining that the pictures were taken on his travels with Mara and a few on her last stay in New York. He mentioned there was some nudity in it but that he and Mara's family and friends felt that it was something that Mara would have approved of as it was included to show others that she still felt and looked beautiful even with a double mastectomy.

Mara's 40th Birthday

2009-04-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, March 29th, over a hundred of Mara's family (some who flew in from Sweden and Portland, Oregon), friends, colleagues, and breast cancer survivors gathered at the Avalon Cinema on Connecticut Avenue to celebrate Mara's 40th birthday. There were 50 colorful balloons, supplied by Mara's college roomates KSK and Nomi, popcorn, wine, water, and coffee, with ice cream and two big decorated cakes each with a large, stand-up cut-out of pictures Carol had taken of Mara frolicking among ruins.

It was a special evening with an unusual mix of purposes and emotions, organized by Carol. We celebrated Mara's life, remembered her goodness and beauty, and shed tears while finding comfort in fellowship with others who also miss her acutely. It was an evening that combined remembering Mara with reunions with Mara's famiy and friends, fun and a concrete purpose: to encourage donations to the Mara Fund of the Komen for the Cure organization.

Carol opened the "party" by explaining that we were celebrating Mara's 40th birthday because, as most of you will remember, Mara had encouraged her friends to have an up-beat 40th birthday "bash" for her even if she was only able to make it in spirit. Carol then spoke about why we were celebrating it in the way we were, with a fun fund-raiser. She then introduced Mara's immediate family members. David Mees showed photographs from their happy years together,* and Julie, a representative from Komen, spoke about the purpose of the Mara Fund, the fight against breast cancer. Then we watched three funny, yet realistic and touching episodes of "Sex in the City" which dealt with Samantha's breast cancer; her fear of ruining her friend's wedding by telling her she had breast cancer, her friends' difficulty with facing the reality of Samantha's breast cancer and Samantha's adventures with wigs as she worked to overcome her horror of losing her hair.

The next morning, the Bulgarian Ambassador was the host for a small, lovely ceremony at his Embassy to accept a large, exquisite icon, made by Mara's good friend in Bulgaria, Dimo. With short, yet moving speeches by the Bulgarian Ambassador, the former United States Ambassador to Jordan, as well as an Assistant Administrator from USAID, we were once again reminded what an impact Mara had made on the world.

*This was put on the next posting of the Blog by Mara's cousin Aaron Kraft.

Mara and the Mara Fund Semi-annual Update #2

2008-12-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

Issue #2, November 2008

MARA’S BIRTHDAY CELEBRA- TIONS AND MARA FUND ACTIVITIES

By Carol Galaty, “Mother of the Mara Fund,” carolgalaty@speakeasy.net

Dear Friends of Mara Galaty and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Mara Fund,

This is the second of a series of semi-annual updates on remembering, celebrating and perpetuating the work of Mara through personal activities and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Mara Fund. We are sending it to friends including those who have given to the Mara Fund. In Part 1, the update includes a report on Mara’s 2008 Birthday activities, the plans for her 2009 40th Birthday Celebration and, in Part 2, a report on Mara Fund Support and Activities.

Before I go further let me thank all of you who have written touching commnets on the Blog. They have made us laugh and cry. It helps to share Mara with all of you. I really do feel her alive as we all continue to live with and pass on to others memories of her, re-experiencing her joy, her love of fun, her seriousness and her whirl wind activies.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS UPDATE ON THE BLOG FOR THE FIRST TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE EMAIL, OR SNAIL MAIL MAILING LIST PLEASE EMIAL YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION TO: carolgalaty@speakeasy.net.

As you see, we are still using Mara’s Blog as a site for communicating with Mara’s friends. You may have noticed that David Mees, Mara’s partner, has been giving us precious new glimpses into Mara’s life through wonderful pictures and stories on the Blog. If you have never checked the Blog, or haven’t checked the Blog in a while you may wish to do so.

As most of you know, we started the Mara Fund in memory and continuation of the work of Marguerite “Mara” Rose Galaty, to support activities in countries where shame is the major obstacle to early detection and treatment of breast cancer. The Fund targets under-privileged communities in less-developed countries-- the type of place where Mara was active.

Once again we would like to thank all of you who have contributed to the Mara Fund. We would also like to invite those who have not donated to make a donation, and encourage all of you to help us continue and grow the important international work of Susan G. Komen for the Cure that is funded by the Mara Fund. We would greatly appreicate it if you would make recurring donations and share this information with your friends who might also make donations for women around the world as well as Mara.

In the first year of its existance, $60,000 was donated to the Mara Fund. We have set as a goal adding $40,000.00 to tha Mara Fund in honor of Mara's 40th birthday in March 2009. If you want to make a donation it can be done on line at: www.komen.org/marafund.

ABOVE: The Mara Galaty Memorial in the Embassy in Amman, Jordan: top, during Mara’s Memorial Service, December 2007, and below during a remembrance Service for Mara in November 2008.

Part 1 - MARA’S BIRTHDAY ACTIVITIES – March 29th

Many of you may recall there were two suggestions for celebrating Mara’s birthday that friends made to Mara and that she liked. One was an idea for an annual celebration of her birthday by friends doing something special for others on that day that they might not otherwise have done. The second was to celebrate Mara’s 40th birthday, which she had tried to reach but, as we know, she did not live to see.

1. Mara’s Birthday, March 29th, 2008 – Many of Mara’s friends wrote me about the special things they did on her birthday, just before or just after. Some of the activities in memory of Mara were small, others large; they ran the gamut… Let me just share just a few of the very different things people sent me and encourage all of you to schedule an activity for Mara’s next birthday, March 29th 2009.

• Mara’s step-mother, Debby Galaty, in Portland, Oregon wrote of Mara’s father and two step sisters: “Dave, Laurel and I spent a reflective weekend because we felt it would be too hard to be social on that day. So we walked on the beach, quietly remembering Mara and talking about the things that we are been doing in her memory.... Kassel is in Morocco right now and has donated to an orphanage in Mara's memory. Carol [Mara’s mother] and Dave were married in Morocco so it seemed fitting that a "Mara ripple" get set into motion there! We are selling pendants at a cancer awareness event on her birthday in New York and all of the proceeds will go to the Mara Fund. In addition, an Art gallery in Wisconsin is selling “Mara Pendants” I made and sending all proceeds to the Mara Fund.

• One of Mara’s high school friends, Justin Freer, who raised over $1,000 from high school friends for the Mara Fund, put together a family team for the two day, 39 mile, Avon Walk for Breast Cancer named “LivFreer 4 Mara Galaty.”

• Anna Young wrote: “…the Mercy Corps contingent in Portland Oregon had an ice cream social to raise money for the Mara Fund. Also to let you know that the book group that Mara and I attended, met last night. We were talking about how to become more active in the world and said how we wanted to do what we did in Mara's honor. I think we will be doing two activities a year - one to support international development of some sort and another to support children and families here in Portland.

• Kina Markova, the headmistress of Mara’s school in Bulgaria wrote to me saying: and I quote exactly: “Today is a special day for all of us! It's Mara's Birthday! And we again and again, always, remember her! Her smile, her benevolence, the warmth and the light that Mara gave to all of us----this was Mara! May be her mission, which she had here on the Earth was to show us how gratuitously [stet] dedicated a person can be and how many great things a young girl can do! Today I went to church and kindle a candle in her honor. I wrote to the American Ambassador in Bulgaria, Mr. John R. Bayrle about Mara. I want him to know what daughters the Great American Nation has. I wrote also to a friend of a Mara - Jeni Alexandrova, which who a talk show in Bulgaria. My dearest friend, surely today you will go and bring Mara flowers. Please put flowers on her grave from me too!”

• Lisa Dominico in Portland, Oregon wrote: If you recall, Mara’s family had suggested that a great way to celebrate Mara’s life, would be to “mark” her birthday with some sort of community service. Part of what I learned from Mara about her work as a Civil Society advocate, is that communities need, in part, 1) fair and open elections, 2) free press and 3) non-corrupt judicial systems. On Sat, March 29th (her birthday), there was a voter registration event held in Portland, that was organized by the Obama headquarters. (I tried to find an event not associated with any particular candidate, but wasn’t successful.) It was not my intention to campaign for anyone, just get people registered to vote! This was not something I had ever done and in fact, I think that was something else they asked us to do – something we wouldn’t otherwise think to do!

• Ann Bisgyer added: In Portland many of us from her support group - thinking of how Mara was such a civic minded person- we are conducting a register to vote drive as our volunteer activity. I wish we could affect the countries she did - but feeling like we are making a difference here also helps.

• From Jordan, David Mees wrote: Last week the State Univ. of New York people presented gifts to an orphanage in Mara's honor. It was actually a very nice and touching visit. We saw their bedrooms, with a couple dozen beds lined up. I also happened to be at the Embassy's Medical Unit (scheduling a physical) and the nurse told me what a tangible effect last year's session -- at which Mara famously bared her chest – had. Hard to believe that she was here just a year ago to do this!!! Two women's breast cancers were detected at an early stage, just in the Embassy community alone and I amplified the message that was sent this year to all the women in the Embassy reminding them of this.

• One of Mara’s closest friends since childhood, KSK, tried to organize a group activity, but due to family complications she had to give up on organizing. She reported that she started to feel badly about not doing it, and then thought of Mara saying, “Don’t stress yourself.” So she spent the day thinking about Mara and talking about Mara with friends and family and “didn’t stress!”

• In Washington, DC I, Mara’s mother, held a birthday brunch for Mara, attended by 26 of her friends, family and one dove. I then went and planted tulips on her grave. But the visit convinced me that Mara was not at her grave site, but with all of her friends and family.

2. Mara’s 40th Birthday Fund Raising Celebration, March 29th, 2009 - Mara’s goal was to reach the age of 40 and, when she learned that she was only going to live to the age of 38, she said that she still wanted people to celebrate her 40th birthday and have a blast as she would have!

Remembering this, Mara’s 40th “Birthday Bash” will be a FUN, fund raiser for the Mara Fund. It will be held on her 40th birthday, March 29th, 2009, from 8:00pm to 10:00pm at the Avalon Theater, Chevy Chase Circle in Washington, DC. For those of you who live in the Washington DC area, or can make it to DC for her birthday, I invite you to join us, as well as a number of men and women who support cancer prevention activities, to celebrate her birthday.

Mara’s cousins and friends are working with me to arrange this event. We are still in the final planning stage BUT we will be sending out official invitations when they are definite. So, at this time, please save the date. We plan to have the party start with two, three minute short films; one, a David Mees' slideshow about Mara with a musical accompaniment, and the second a Susan G. Komen for the Cure documentary about women who are afraid to get screened and treated for breast cancer. There will be a Susan G. Komen representative at the Theater to present the film and talk a bit about the Mara Fund. We will then show the Breast Cancer related "Sex in the City" episodes with one or two of the people involved in the program there to talk about the breast cancer focus. If we are very lucky one of these may be Cynthia Nixon, but we have not heard whether she can make it. Then, following the movie we will have a birthday cake, ice cream and coffee with a band playing up-beat music.

Additional fund raising activities for her birthday include selling hard copies of the Mara Blog with photos and comments as well as selling “Mara pendants” and copies of the book “David, Mormor, Horno, and the Yak: an Alphabet Mystery” a book about her nephew which is dedicated to her.

Part 2 - THE MARA FUND - SUPPORT AND ACTIVITIES

As most of you know, with the “Mara Fund,” the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation addresses the issue of overcoming shame through its international breast cancer awareness programs. Using the example of Mara Galaty, who was “un-embarrassable” when speaking of her fight with breast cancer, the Mara Fund will promote the local emergence of breast cancer survivor networks in countries in order to spread the message that cancer should not be a cause for shame, that symptoms should be immediately checked out, and that survival rates will go up dramatically the earlier diagnosis take place.

Thanks to all of your donations, the Mara Fund has become a successful part of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Global Promise Fund. With over 206 people donating (some of them more than once), since last February, the Mara Fund has raised $59,441.08. As the “Mother” of the Mara Fund, Komen officials have worked closely with me to help steer the focus of the Fund and to involve me in activities that promote or were supported by the Mara Fund. The Mara Fund is used to make competitive grants to organizations and to advance Komen's important work overseas in areas that reflect Mara’s drive and “un-embarrassable” approach to dealing with breast cancer. With many more projects under consideration, the activities of the Mara Fund have been involved with in 2008 include:

1. Two Washington Symposiums - One panel discussion at the Washington Hilton on Cancer Research in March, and one, in October at the White House on Breast Cancer Awareness, had Komen officials on the panels. At both sessions a flyer about the Mara Fund was distributed. At the White House conference, not only did Ambassador Nancy Brinker, mention the Mara Fund, but she and Hala Moddelmog, President and CEO of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure, actually talked about Mara, her life and her “unembarrassable” approach to promoting breast cancer awareness, screening and treatment. This was the conference which took place during Breast Cancer awareness month and they lit the White House pink. I was very proud, seated between the wife of the Ambassador from Iceland and the Ambassador (male) from Swaziland, when they discussed Mara, why the Mara Fund was set up and its importance in countries where breast cancer was considered shameful.

2. Conference in Amman, Jordan - The Mara Fund also gave a grant to help sponsor the October 31, 2008 US-Middle East Partnership for Breast Cancer Awareness and Research. It was the first Middle East and North Africa (MENA) Regional Breast Cancer Advocacy Conference marking another significant milestone in the collaborative efforts in which Mara participated that began in 2006 when the Partnership was launched by United States First Lady Laura Bush. The goal of the Partnership is to reduce breast cancer mortality in MENA by uniting local champions in the United States and the MENA region to exchange ideas, and collaborate on research, outreach, and awareness programs, with a focus on breast cancer through the lens of advocacy and awareness work. It brought together more than 100 leading breast cancer advocates, survivors, government officials, and physicians from 15 MENA countries and the United States, representing over 30 organizations that range from national cancer societies to local support groups. The conference fostered dialogue about the challenges facing breast cancer advocates, opened channels of communication between advocates, and taught strategies to improve the efficacy of efforts against breast cancer in participants’ communities.

3. The 5th National Conference on Health Issues in the Arab American Community – Again Mara Fund flyers were in each conference kit and tributes to Mara’s life and work were part of this conference in Dearborn, Michigan in November. However this time the Mara Fund was also one of the “Platinum” sponsors funding this conference. Dearborn is the largest center of Arab-Americans in the United States and as new refugees are brought into the United States from Iraq and other Arab countries they are all required to come through Dearborn for medical assessment, triage and treatment. In the past few months thousands of refugees have come to through Dearborn and even larger numbers are expected as the war in the Middle East gears down.

While called “National,” the Conference was attended by Arabs and Arabists from around the world and the focus of many of the sessions were on the health disparities, psychological, medical and cultural aspects of screening and treating breast cancer in Arab women not only in the United States but in Arab countries. There were fascinating discussions of health concerns in Arab countries and ways in which they influenced recommendations for approaches to treating newly arrived Arab refugees as they adapted to life in the United States. Panelists and participants highlighted special health problems of Arab populations and made recommendations on ways to better analyze and overcome them.

BELOW: At the 5th National Conference on Health Issues in the Arab American Community, Dearborn, Michigan, Carol Galaty with Dr. Shahla Masood, who is convening a Regional Breast Cancer Conference in Cairo in 2009 and the list of major funders which included information on the poster as well as information in every conference kit on Mara and the Susan G Komen for the Cure Mara Fund.

Mara and the Smart

2008-12-08T03:10:00.000-08:00

Mara used to squeal with delight whenever we saw a Smart car. I remember our first coming across them together when we visited Rome. I believe that was in 2005. They are a daily reminder of Mara now that I am in Rome, where they are common. As you can see from the photo one can -legally- park the vehicle perpendicular to the sidewalk, when no one (actually hardly anyone) else can. Here the name is pronounced "Zmaarrt." There is a dealership that has a glass tower full of them, like candies. I saw it once from a taxi; if I come across it again I'll take a picture.

A Year Ago

2008-11-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

Has an entire year passed since those intense weeks when Mara suffered, and the horrible day she died? It still seems very close in time.

Mara believed in life after death: living on in all of us. For us it is a challenge of course, especially now, to overcome sadness and to focus on the privilege of having known her and been one of the lucky people whom she touched.

I miss Mara. Having moved to Rome some weeks ago and having traveled to Sicily and to Venice... every thing of beauty is both wonderful and terrible. Mara would enjoy these places so much. Earlier today I crossed the Tiber, walking over the old Ponte Sisto. It was late afternoon, and I stopped midway to reflect on the time Mara and I had walked there together. Then, as today, there were tens of thousands of starlings in the sky. Happiness with grief.

Thanks to all who have been in touch! You have been such great support. In September I spent some time with Carol and Gil, and saw Mara's Washington friends.

My friend Claudia wrote a few days ago. I'll share it:

"Dear David, I have thought of you often and of Mara. I sometimes feel I do not have the right to bring her up, as the pain must be so difficult, yet of course she was part of you and I should probably bring her up more. She will always be there for you.

I look at Ed and can't imagine him not here, yet you do not have that luxury. And of course Mara was so young, too young, and so amazing. It's interesting that I feel I really knew her, when actually we were just new friends. She was so special that I think she made everyone she met feel special. I'm not sure where she got her strength, but she had it. And she taught me a lot, right in the midst of my own health scare. Like an angel, there to talk openly, explain, discuss. Our drive to Tel Aviv was a special time together.

I think of her as being with us always, right there. Now in my mind, looking down on a sunny day at you walking in Rome, so happy that you are there. (I'm somehow sure she made that happen from above... and I'm not religious!)

She knows you have to be sad, but also doesn't want you to be... and yet it is part of your love and deep caring relationship that of course requires mourning.

At this impossible-to-believe, first-year anniversary of Mara's being gone I wanted you to know how much I care."

Thank you, Claudia. That helps.

David

Looking for Mara

2008-09-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

In these beautiful end-of-Summer days, it is impossible not to remember back one year, when the new melanoma symptoms revealed themselves. Mara began an awful and relatively short last battle.

Without setting out to do this consciously, I am revisting -on home leave- many of the places where I took Mara. Right now I'm back with my cousins Tim and Judith whose daughters, Susannah and Mary Louisa, Mara loved. They shared much laughter. Eleven months ago we took a vacation from her radiation treatment here, our last vacation together.

Mara and I had had happy times on Mount Desert Island, including the cottage in Manset right on the water.

On the way to Aunt Sue's house there is a bridge over a creek, with Mount Bernard in the background. Everyone stops to snap a picture there.

Then I drove to Vermont, to a place called Blueberry Hill, with a lovely farm that dates from about 1813. It is now an inn where Mara and I stayed at the height of the fiery Fall foliage season in 2006. I went back to the same lake whose cool, sunlit surroundings seemed ablaze when I was there with Mara. It is different in the green warmth of summer, though the bottom of the lake is reddish.

There are white rocks of marble. I saw one bright red leaf of the type that Mara and I had collected by the dozens.

The American Eagle

2008-08-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

This is the Gloucester fishing schooner from 1930 on which Mara and I enjoyed a four-day cruise in the summer of 2005. Earlier this week I wore the shirt bearing a picture of the American Eagle that I had bought at the end of that trip. Within hours she entered Southwest Harbor and cast anchor. Will and I rowed the Aunt Sue out to the ship and asked for captain John Foss, but the mate said he was catching up on sleep as they had sailed through the night from Eastport. She spent that night in the harbor. Here she is getting under way the next morning.

Two days later Will and I were bicycling on the carriage roads of Acadia National Park. At one point I realized I had lost my expensive sunglasses and went looking for them. At the spot where I had been picking blueberries and huckleberries a family with bicycles was standing in the road. I asked whether they had seen sunglasses, but all they said was "We know you." It was the couple from the trip on the American Eagle that had taken the pictures on board of Mara and me featured on this website. Kitt and... how quickly I forget! They had their two children with them, and since 2005 had moved from Maryland to Vermont. Our chance meeting allowed me to tell them about Mara.

Mara's Sweater

2008-08-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

Last week when visiting Carol and Gil, I picked up a wonderful birthday present from Mara. She had started knitting a beautiful sweater for me. By the time of her death Mara had finished the front and back of it. I had no idea whether it would ever be completed when her aunt, Sally Popper, offered to give it a try. She quickly determined that she could do it and worked on it over the winter. The result, I think you will agree, is magnificent. I am delighted and, now on vacation in Maine, wear it proudly. Thank you, Mara; thank you, Sally!

Photo by Will Morrison

2008-07-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

On our last day in Massa-
chusetts a black labrador walked up the driveway and came to check us out. The dog came near but would not come all the way. It was afraid despite Mara's repeated words of welcome. My cousins said the lab had visited before and had never allowed itself to be petted.

2008-07-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

2008-07-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

Mara in Massachusetts

2008-07-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

In New York, after the hair-cutting party

2008-07-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

2008-07-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

2008-07-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

2008-07-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

2008-07-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

2008-07-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

2008-07-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

2008-07-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

An Afternoon in the Park (Central Park)

2008-07-01T21:27:00.001-07:00

2008-06-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

2008-06-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

2008-06-28T01:42:00.000-07:00

2008-06-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

September (2007) in New York

2008-06-25T14:00:00.001-07:00

Visiting the theater in Palmyra

2008-06-21T04:25:00.000-07:00

This was during our visit to Syria at the end of August, 2007.

Mara in the Byzantine cathedral of Bosra

2008-06-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

You can see traces of the frescos that once covered the walls of this huge structure.

A group of women and girls was having a picnic there that day.

Mosque of Omar, Bosra

2008-06-16T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is one of the oldest mosques in the world, dating from the beginning of the seventh century. It was built on the cite of an ancient temple and incorporates many of the temple's elements. Mara was also allowed in but did have to wear a cloak.

A merchant named Mohammad, before he became a prophet is said to have visited Bosra many times. He must have seen these same basalt stones, in a somewhat different configuration.

We liked the ancient mosque's modernist staircase.

Exploring a Roman bathhouse, a Byzantine church

2008-06-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

Big Brother

2008-06-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

This was Mara's first time in Syria. The chaotic border crossing the night before, the peculiar emptiness of the hotel, and the many public portraits of the president of Syria, including an enormous one hanging over the gate to the ancient black citadel, impressed upon us that we were in a new foreign land. What put Mara on edge were the men in suits. It is not as if Mara had never seen them before but this was different: After we purchased our tickets, we made our way from the entrance through the underground labyrinth --just a bare lightbulb once in a while-- and up toward the middle, then the top of the seating area of the great amphitheater. The corridors were huge and every hundred feet or so, a security man lurked in a corner or a niche, where his dark suit for once was a good form of camouflage. Up in the seating area we could see the security men wearing ear pieces. They were eyeing us. I assured Mara that this was not normal, even for Syria. A helicopter materialized. We surmised that the heavy security was due to the visit of some VIP and asked for confirmation of that theory, which was of course declined. On our way out of the citadel a school group entered. Animated teachers were clapping and loudly leading the kids in chanting something of which the only word I could make out was "Bashar, Bashar," the name of the Syrian president.

When the helicopter took off the security detail disappeared. Mara relaxed and allowed me to take a picture with the strongman and his late father Hafez al-Assad in the background.

Bosra and its Basalt

2008-06-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

In the late Spring of 2007, I took Mara to the Nabatean, then Roman, now Syrian town of Bosra. We left Amman after work on a Thursday and found the border crossing at Jaber jam-packed. It was the start of a weekend. Eventually we were able to get our various pieces of official paper stamped. By the time we had squeezed the car through the sea of randomly parked automobiles it was dark. We were happy to be in Syria, though, and did not drive far along the highway toward Damascus when we turned East on a straight and quiet, provincial road. It was completely dark, except for a few villages that we passed through. Eventually the lights of a town indicated that we had arrived somewhere larger. It wasn't much of a town, but it had to be Bosra. A colleague based in Damascus had recommended the Sham Palace Hotel which I had looked up on the internet. There were no signs. Mara, usually so sure-footed when it came to directions, was at a loss. We had not gone far when I turned up the long driveway of what looked like a large 1970s municipal building with elaborate gardens. There was no one there, though a few lights were burning. Why should anybody be there? It was after hours. Mara wondered why I stopped the car in front of the glass doors. I took our luggage out of the trunk and persuaded Mara to follow me into the deserted lobby. The lobby did have a hotellish aspect. I knew I was in the right place as I had recognized it from a tiny picture on the website. Eventually a friendly staff member arrived. The hotel had a grandly decorated atrium and the walls of the corridors were covered with carpeting. It felt Eastern European to us and we weren't sure whether there was a single other guest. The big treat was the view the next morning: When I opened the curtains I saw the still water of an unused swimming pool behind the hotel. Beyond that was a large field, behind which the black wall of an enormous fortress loomed. These photographs were taken inside that structure, the great amphitheater of Bosra. The entire thing is made from black basalt.

Team Mara

2008-06-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, June 7, the breast cancer race of Komen for the Cure was held in Washington, D.C. Mara's spirit was there thanks to Team Mara.

Photos courtesy of Miriam Schwedt and Carol Galaty.

Jerusalem and Istanbul

2008-06-07T02:14:00.000-07:00

Mara's father came for a visit in November of 2006. Here they are in front of the Damascus Gate in Jerusalem.

Mara took me to Istanbul later that year. We spent New Year's eve with her friend Julia and family. Mara loved showing the city to me. She seemingly took me everywhere. Of course we visited the Hagia Sophia, but also the Blue Mosque, a much quieter place. Here she stands in the garden behind it.

We crossed the Bosphorus; the boatride had been one of Mara's favorite things when she lived in the city (if you don't see Mara's silhouette, click on the image).

On the last day we went for a long walk in a big park.

Black & White Photos

2008-06-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

The photograph of Mara asleep is several years old. The other was taken in New York last September, not long after Mara had her hair-cutting party. It is from a roll of film that, like a bunch of other rolls, I just had developed.

Awake

2008-06-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

Asleep on the boat

2008-06-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

More from the sailing trip

2008-05-31T01:45:00.000-07:00

Together

2008-05-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

Taken on a little island that was once a granite quarry in front of the little harbor of Vinalhaven.

Double Click

2008-05-25T00:12:00.000-07:00

Vinalhaven, Maine, during the sailing trip in the summer of 2005 on the American Eagle.

Double self portrait

2008-05-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

In the coliseum of El Djem, Tunisia

Mara's Photos at Soltane

2008-05-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

Mara at Ksar Ouled Soltane

2008-05-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

Not far from the town of Tatouine in Southern Tunisia are 15th century communal granaries which were built as fortresses to protect the grain from raiding parties. In the Spring of 2005 we traveled there. I took this photograph of Mara with my 35 mm camera.

One more from that day

2008-05-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

Beach Surprise

2008-05-03T04:06:00.000-07:00

Three years ago Mara visited me for the second time in Tunisia. By this time I had scoped out some out-of-the way places. One of them was the beach at Ra's el Jabal. I told Mara nothing, except to put a bathing suit in her carry-on luggage. When I picked her up in the green Landrover at the airport we drove not to my little place in Carthage but North along a fast highway. We turned off near Utica, drove through the little coastal towns until the road went no further. A short walk through a forest of pine trees brought us to an empty beach where we swam and ate mangos. Mara loved this start to our little vacation.

MARA’S BIRTHDAY DOVE … March 2008

2008-04-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

For Those Who Believe And Those Like Me Who Would Like To Believe

While I will soon put up reports on the number of things people did on Mara’s Birthday, I wanted to share with all of you a very spiritual experience. You may believe, or like me want to believe, or even disbelieve its spiritual nature, but I believe it is a lovely story none-the-less.

On Mara’s birthday, I gave a breakfast party for Mara's close friends and family in Washington. The party was wonderful. There were about 26 people. I hesitate to tell all of you this because I don't want you to think that an areligious/aspiritual person like me has gone stark raving crazy, but something very strange and beautiful happened.

A little more than a week before Mara’s birthday two doves, a male and a female, started exploring the hanging basket on our little back door porch (approximately 3 ½ by 5 feet) and building a nest. When we came out they flew away and watched us from afar. A few days later Gil looked out and saw what he claims was the two doves making love...I don't know what they were doing and if it is related to the next step, but shortly after that the one we have determined was the female started sitting in the nest. When we come out on the back porch to take out trash, recycling, or to go to the car, she just looks at us, unperturbed, as she is in the picture. We got to talking to her and calling her Mama Dove assuming that she was sitting on eggs.

She had been sitting there unblinkingly calm for almost a week on the day of Mara’s Birthday.

On Mara's birthday, we opened the back door and everyone at the party met and talked to the Dove. Mara’s friend, Aimee Breslow, nearly went out of her mind with excitement when we introduced her to the dove. Aimee has a Native American friend who told her once …when a dove was living close to Aimee's house… that the dove was a spirit animal and signifies protection, love and good luck. Aimee was so excited by our dove that she called her Native American friend who further said that doves have different meanings depending on where they are, what is happening and what they are doing. She felt that it was very significant that our Dove was sitting on a nest hatching eggs so near humans, that she was so unafraid of us humans, and that it was Mara's birthday.

Stranger still was what happened next. About a week or so later the eggs hatched and there were two “dovelets” in the nest. Two days ago Gil and I noticed that Mama Dove and the babies were gone. There were no dead little birds on the ground so we assumed that they had flown away successfully, even thought it seemed they were very young to have done that. I waited all day for them to come back, but they didn't. I climbed on a stool to see if the babies were hidden in the nest. They were definitely not there, BUT there was a single egg still in the nest. It had been there all alone for at least a day, and the weather had again turned cold, so I knew that Mama Dove had given up on it and that the egg would never hatch. I am amazed but I started to cry both because the Dove had left and the egg was alone. I felt as if I had lost Mara again.

Sunday morning I got up early --couldn't sleep anymore-- and sat down at the computer in my second story library on the side of the house away from the back porch. As I was working, about 7:30 am, all of the sudden the Mama and Papa Dove appeared at my window. The stayed there looking at me for the longest time. The window was shut, but I spoke to them as I did to the Mama Dove when she sat on the nest, and asked them how the babies were. Of course they didn't answer, but just looked at me and the turned and flew away together. I felt sure that they were saying good-bye to me, maybe until Mara's birthday next year!? Later that day when they still hadn't come back I went and took the abandoned egg and I am going to take it to Mara's grave.

Many people at Mara’s birthday party were convinced that the Dove was Mara's spirit or sent by Mara to be with us on her birthday. I know it is crazy, but I felt it was somehow true. It is so unusual for any bird to let people be around it at anytime time, much less when they are hatching eggs. I have decided that I am probably so in need of Mara that I have taken leave of my senses, BUT it feels so good.

I have felt for the last little while the strength of Mara spirit being alive and being with me and with all of us.

Just before Mara’s birthday party I visited Mara's grave and planted tulips, but didn't feel Mara's presence there; I feel her presence much more at home and when I am with her friends. I do feel that everyone thinking about Mara, writing me about Mara and doing things in her honor has kept her spirit alive and active and maybe the Dove was reaffirming this!

Mara at Wadi Feinan

2008-04-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

Reading Glubb Pasha in the lodge, September, 2006

Mara in Maine

2008-04-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

Mount Desert Island. Summer, 2004.

Mara's Birthday

2008-03-29T01:20:00.000-07:00

The blessing in our sorrow is that Mara meant so much to so many. It has helped us cope with the incomprehensible. Mara was brilliant at reaching out. We all carry within ourselves a part of Mara's life. May we today share of this spirit with others -a bit more than we usually do- and thus celebrate the day in 1969 she was born.

This picture of Mara up close was taken soon after her 35th birthday in Annapolis, Maryland.

The top picture is posted at the request of Katarina. Vinalhaven, Maine, Summer 2005.

A child said, What is the grass?

2008-03-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

Sent in by Mara's colleague Anne Aarnes, former Mission Director of USAID-Jordan. She wrote about Mara, "She was perhaps the most present and live person I ever met, and the poem gives some hope that she is not completely gone."

A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full
hands;
How could I answer the child?. . . .I do not know what it
is any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful
green stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropped,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we
may see and remark, and say Whose?

Or I guess the grass is itself a child. . . .the produced babe
of the vegetation.

Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow
zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the
same, I receive them the same.

And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.

Tenderly will I use you curling grass,
It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men,
It may be if I had known them I would have loved them;
It may be you are from old people and from women, and
from offspring taken soon out of their mother's laps,
And here you are the mother's laps.

This grass is very dark to be from the white heads of old
mothers,
Darker than the colorless beards of old men,
Dark to come from under the faint red roofs of mouths.

O I perceive after all so many uttering tongues!
And I perceive they do not come from the roofs of mouths
for nothing.

I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men
and women,
And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring
taken soon out of their laps.

What do you think has become of the young and old men?
What do you think has become of the women and
children?

They are alive and well somewhere;
The smallest sprouts show there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait
at the end to arrest it,
And ceased the moment life appeared.

All goes onward and outward. . . .and nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and
luckier.

Walt Whitman

Doing Something in Mara's Memory

2008-03-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

David Here: While Mara and I had many things in common, her ability to help others was something I could only admire, not really relate to, let alone match. With Mara's birthday, March 29th, coming up this weekend here is, for people like me, a quote that Mara's aunt, Sally, sent along: "We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to the big differences that we often cannot foresee."
Marian Wright Edelman

Enjoying the beach on a January morning

2008-03-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

With Ems, Jeroen and Lodi in the background

At Petra

2008-03-13T15:33:00.001-07:00

FRIENDS OF MARA GALATY UPDATE

2008-03-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

Issue No. 1: SEMI-ANNUAL FRIENDS OF MARA GALATY UPDATE
--------------------------------- March 2008-------------------------
Subjects in Issue: Mara’s 39th Birthday and the Mara Fund

Dear friends of Mara, this is the first semi-annual email/blog update on remembering and perpetuating the work of Mara Galaty through personal activities and the Mara Fund. We are sending it to friends who wrote and supported her, as well as those who have given to the Mara Fund.

We are also using this Blog as a continuing site for communicating with Mara’s friends. You may have noticed that David Mees, Mara’s partner, has been giving us precious new glimpses into Mara’s life through wonderful pictures and stories on the Blog. If you haven't reviewed the site recently you may wish to do so. If you are reading this for the first time on the Blog, you may wish to send Carol Galaty (at the e-mail listed below) your name and email address so that you can receive these semi-annual updates, by e-mail, as well as any interim notice that we may send out on an exceptional basis.

Friends of Mara Updates will provide information about activities carried out in Memory of Mara, updates on the Mara Fund, and may include references to new material on the Mara Blog and stories about Mara. This Update includes below:
--Mara’s Birthday
--The Mara Fund

MARA’S BIRTHDAY

Many of you may recall two suggestions relating to Mara’s birthday. One was an idea for an annual celebration proposed by a friend of hers, and the other was for a 40th birthday celebration requested by Mara.

1. One of Mara’s friends suggested on the Blog that each year on Mara’s birthday, March 29th, her friends do something special for someone else that they would not have done otherwise. Mara liked this idea.

This year on March 29th, 2008, is Mara’s 39th birthday. For those of you who want to celebrate it by doing a good deed for someone, we would love to know about what you did. We hope that sharing this information will help Mara’s friends to network, and do projects.

So, we encourage you to let us know what you did by emailing a brief write up to maragalatyupdates@gmail.com with a subject line reading “In Honor of Mara’s Birthday 2008” for posting on Mara’s Blog with the following information:
a) what you did and for whom;
b) where and when you did it;
c) what the results were; and
d) who you are (your name), where you live and how you knew Mara.

The activities you undertake in memory of Mara can be done alone or as a group. We encourage you to use your creativity. Here are a few ideas that some of her friends have come up with…

• Join some of Mara’s friends in the Washington area who are collecting items for the people of Darfur and get together on March 29 for a Mara party during which the items will be packed and boxed by emailing Kim at satinkubler@starpower.net.
• Participate individually or put together a group to participate in a fund-raising walk in honor of Mara. One of Mara’s high school friends has put together a family team for the two day, 39 mile, Avon Walk for Breast Cancer named “LivFreer 4 Mara Galaty.”
• Go to a shelter, a prison, or a refugee camp and offer your expertise, for example by conducting a workshop.
• Find a charitable website like www.kiva.org where you can “sponsor a business” and help a unique entrepreneur in the developing world through a “microloan”.
• Donate some or all of the proceeds from something you have made and can sell to the Mara Fund, such as the wonderful pendants made by Mara’s step-mother, Debra.
• Set up a group clean-up activity or a group donation in honor of Mara. For instance Mara’s friends at the State University of New York (SUNY), both in Albany and the Amman office, just collected money, bought toys and took them to an orphanage. The arrival of the visitors bearing gifts was celebrated by dancing children! You may soon find pictures of this on the Blog.

2. Mara always said her goal was to reach the age of 40. When she learned that she was only going to live to the age of 38, she said that she would still like people to celebrate her 40th birthday and have a blast! We are beginning to think about Mara’s big 40th birthday celebration. Here are two ideas that have been suggested but need planners and implementers:

• Get the Uptown or Avalon Theater in Mara’s old Washington DC neighborhoods to designate a film showing on March 29th as a fund-raiser for the Mara Fund. Mara’s friends and friends’ friends, would afterward have drinks, and eat cake and ice cream (donated by local businesses).
• Organize a party in Italy in conjunction with group-rates at a hotel or villa for individuals to join for a week-end, or week-long stay. A friend from Mara’s breast cancer group did something similar a few years ago in Tuscany for her 40th birthday, and Mara loved and wanted to replicate it for her 40th.

We would like to hear your ideas, but ask you in putting them forward to include some practical suggestions for who could carry them out and how. Please email them, with a subject line reading “Suggestions for Mara’s 40TH” to maragalatyupdates@gmail.com.

THE MARA FUND: To Combat Shame Associated with Breast Cancer

As most of you know, Mara was a strong champion on behalf of breast cancer patients and the need to be vocal about the disease without shame. The Mara Fund was, therefore, set up to perpetuate Mara’s work as well as her memory by supporting activities in countries where shame is the major obstacle to early detection and treatment, targeting under-privileged communities in less-developed countries -- the type of place where Mara was active.

The Mara Fund will strengthen a segment for civil society in countries where citizens do not have a tradition of organizing themselves around a cause. The Fund will promote the local emergence of breast cancer survivor networks in these countries in order to spread the message that cancer should not be a cause for shame, that symptoms should be immediately checked out, and that survival rates go up dramatically when earlier diagnosis takes place. Using photographs of and stories about Mara Galaty, who was “un-embarrassable” when speaking of her fight with breast cancer, Komen’s Mara Fund will help cancer patients overcome shame and fear.

To give the Mara Fund permanence, it has now been established as permanent sub-division of the Komen for the Cure’s new division called “The Global World Fund” that was just created to address international issues. Now the Mara Fund’s existence and mission will not be lost as it is an integral part of the fund-raising efforts of the Komen for the Cure and funds donated by Mara’s friends and family will be supplemented continually though the years from the general funds raised by the Komen for the Cure.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure is a strong organization. It began in 1982, and has made enormous progress in the battle against breast cancer. Generous support from its donors has helped it invest more than $1 billion to date in its promise to save lives and end breast cancer as a worldwide killer. Since the establishment of the Mara Fund as part of Komen, over 210 of Mara’s friends and family have made contributions to the Mara Fund and over $43,000.00 has been raised. We hope that these numbers continue to grow as family, friends and strangers see the Mara Fund as an important part of Komen for the Cure’s global battle against cancer!

The Mara Fund, under the management of experts at Komen, is just now developing its action infrastructure and projects. Future additions of the Mara Galaty Update will be able to report on the projects being initiated and supported by the Mara Fund and later updates will report on the results of projects underway.

NOTE: We are not giving out this email list to any one, or any other organization. However, if you wish to be REMOVED from this email list please email: MaraGalatyupdates@gmail.com with a subject line reading “Please REMOVE my Name” and you will be removed from the list.

Look at that Light Fixture...

2008-03-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Breakfast at Les Pins

2008-03-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

How I miss traveling with Mara! Here is a photo from the fall of 2004 when we stayed in the rough Tunisian town of Le Kef. This hotel among the pine trees was the place to stay. When we arrived there was silence. One woke up at about six a.m., however, from the many songbirds which the owner kept in the hotel's atrium.

Communing with Catherine

2008-03-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

In 2005, Della and David Cavey invited us over for Thanksgiving. Our friends/colleagues no longer live in Amman but in Dubai. Their second daughter Claire now wears the tiny colorful Guatemalan shoes that Mara gave Catherine.

With Ann and Nicholas (and Aimee and me)

2008-03-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

Amman, Summer, 2007. Photo by Aimee Breslow.

Clowning

2008-02-27T21:23:00.001-08:00

Impish

2008-02-27T14:05:00.001-08:00

Now looking up

2008-02-24T13:11:00.000-08:00

Even my garden in Carthage had a piece of pillar; it may have been older than the Roman pillar Mara is resting against.

Another moment of rest

2008-02-22T23:38:00.000-08:00

During our exploration of Dougga, Tunisia, 2004.

Resting in the Shade

2008-02-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

Wadi Feinan, Jordan, 2006, on a long walk when we explored some of the oldest copper mines on earth.

Mara drives out of the desert

2008-02-18T22:11:00.000-08:00

The next day we left the oasis of Ksar Ghilane and Mara took the steering wheel of the Landrover. We headed back north.

In the sand

2008-02-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

We went for a walk but did not venture far from the oasis. The sand there is extremely fine.

At the Oasis

2008-02-16T22:41:00.000-08:00

A sense of relief after we arrive and climb the tower of the tent hotel in the Tunisian oasis of Ksar Ghilane.

Tea in the Middle of Nowhere

2008-02-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

In the Spring of 2005, when Mara and I explored southern Tunisia, we drove from Tataouine to the berber village of Chenini. To get from there to our next destination, the oasis of Ksar Ghilane, we had to enter the desert and leave paved roads behind us. Mara had misgivings about this. I wasn't worried as we had a compass along, and tracks were visible in the sand. The only problem was there were many of them. We drove several hours without seeing civilization, though we had come across one or two cars going the other way. Suddenly in the ocean of sand there was a shack with a man selling tea. We could not possibly drive past him.

Mara entering Petra

2008-02-09T12:55:00.000-08:00

The narrow entryway is called the siq. Fall, 2005.

Beside a Starwars Niche

2008-02-08T01:09:00.000-08:00

Troglodyte village of Matmata, Tunisia. Spring, 2005

And in Jerash

2008-02-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

Jordan, Fall 2005.

Niched in Dougga

2008-02-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

Tunisia, 2004

At Restaurant Vy

2008-02-02T00:24:00.000-08:00

Where a lot of work was conducted. Amman, Summer, 2007. Leg of Chris Scott, Mara's friend and predecessor at USAID-Jordan.

Mara at the kitchen counter

2008-01-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

Annapolis, May 2004

At the basalt amphitheater of Gadara

2008-01-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Fall, 2006, Umm Quais, Jordan

Mara with Lodi, a Rhodesian Ridgeback

2008-01-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

New Year's eve, 2004, at Ems & Jeroen's place "Den Os" in Schouwen. Mara is not only wearing her Istanbul earrings -- see Julia's last comment -- but also a necklace by Corinne Guerout that I had just given her. Corinne is a sculptor from France who had trekked around Iceland in a white Landrover Defender in the Summer of 2003. Her glass art derived much inspiration from her time in Iceland.

Mara in Petra, Fall 2005

2008-01-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

Dead Sea, Summer 2007

2008-01-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

Photo by Aimee Breslow

Proud of the "Harkous" by Olfa Souissi

2008-01-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

This was in the spring of 2005, on the evening before we set off on a trip to El Djem and other destinations in southern Tunisia. That day, I had introduced Mara to my tutor of Arabic, Olfa. Olfa remembers Mara hugging her when they first met. At that moment, Olfa was carrying a bouquet of yellow flowers because, she later told me, "I know that you love her." Inspired by Mara's "white soft hand" she applied her henna artistry which in Tunisia is called harkous. We visited Olfa's family and drank tea together at the Bardo museum with its incredible mosaics.

In the Coliseum of El Djem

2008-01-22T11:17:00.000-08:00

Tunisia, Spring 2005

LEAVING JORDAN

2008-01-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

Sunset viewed from Mara's apartment balcony in Amman Jordan

January 16, 2008 was the day Gil and I (her mother, Carol) left Jordan and, with the help of David the next day, we completed the closing of Mara's apartment and a wonderful chapter in her life. It was difficult and sad. Now Mara has become a truely international person, her home is in each of us around the world, in all of the cities she has visited, lived in and loved.

Mount Desert Island, Maine

2008-01-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Summer, 2004

Under the arch

2008-01-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

Dougga, Tunisia, Fall 2004

Breakfast in bed

2008-01-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

In "Den Os," Schouwen, The Netherlands. January, 2005

Annapolis, 2004

2008-01-09T22:05:00.000-08:00

Wadi Feinan, Jordan, 2006

2008-01-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

Mara Listens

2008-01-04T12:57:00.000-08:00

Now and again a total stranger would ask Mara, as she was in her own world thinking deeply about something: "what's wrong?" Or they would say: "smile!" It always took her completely by surprise.

The intensity of her look here is another example of how expressive her face was. Taken in Annapolis in 2004.

Mara as statue

2008-01-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

Dougga, Tunisia, Fall of 2004

Coffee on board of the American Eagle

2008-01-01T06:38:00.000-08:00

On the coast of Maine, Summer, 2005.

New Year's Day, 2005

2007-12-29T12:54:00.000-08:00

Schouwen in Zeeland, The Netherlands

Mara's Memorial Celebration in Amman, Jordan, December 17, 2007

2007-12-22T02:51:00.000-08:00

Below you will find the remarks made at Mara’s Memorial Celebration in Jordan in the beautiful Embassy setting shown above, with the large photo of Mara that we brought from Washington hanging behind the podium where it also hung in Washington! Following this celebration inside the Embassy there was a further ceremony in the garden where a tree was planted that will grow into a large tree to shade the white marble plaque, table and benches as shown in the picture below. All of this was purchased and placed there in memory of Mara!

PROGRAM for Mara Galaty’s Memorial Celebration and Commemoration:
PUBLIC AFFAIRS AUDITORIUM, U.S. EMBASSY
11:00 am, Monday, December 17, 2007

Deputy Chief of Mission Daniel Rubenstein, Master of Ceremonies

“Amazing Grace” played by cellist Fadi Hatter, from the National Conservatory of
Music

Ambassador David Hale

Carol Galaty, Mara’s Mother

Dana Mansuri, Acting Mission Director, USAID

Prelude from the Suite #1 in G-Major for Cello by J.S. Bach – Fadi Hattar

George Kara’a, USAID Colleague

Arwa Ghanma, USAID Colleague

David Mees, Mara’s Partner

“Simple Gifts” from Appalachian Spring by Aaron Copeland and
the Sarabande from the 6th Suite for solo cello in D-Major by J.S. Bach – Fadi Hattar

Guests are invited to go to the front of the South Chancery for the Tree Planting Ceremony and the Picnic Area Dedication.

Stephen Carpenter, Chief of Party, Customs Administration Modernization Program

Reception with light refreshments and an opportunity to express condolences to Mara’s family inside the South Chancery

AMBASSADOR HALE’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL

Thank you all for being here and welcome to Mara’s family members (Carol Galaty (mother) and Gil Hill (stepfather)

As one who was not with Mara in her last weeks, perhaps her loss has not fully and truly sunk in. I still sometimes think she is going to turn around a corner after a long leave, and confront me with a dazzling smile and a handful of ideas on how we can do more to promote democracy and good governance in Jordan.

That, of course, is not going to happen.

But Mara, also of course, would be the first to insist that we focus not on loss, but in fact celebrate what Mara achieved in a short but very full life. So many of us here today, myself included, grew by virtue of our interaction with Mara, learned from her, and were inspired by her incredibly positive attitude and energy.

Her friends and colleagues in the USAID mission, in the Embassy family, and more widely in Jordanian society all know first hand the tremendous, positive impact Mara had in Jordan. She was a fine ambassador of America to the Jordanian people, and showed how Americans can be a tremendous force for good in Jordanians’ lives.

We talk a lot about what USAID does in Jordan, to the media, to visiting congressmen, and to American and Jordanian audiences. We always emphasize that we, the Americans, are supporting partners as Jordanians chart their future course. There is no one who embodied that spirit more than Mara.

The spirit with which Mara faced her final illness was also incredible. While in the end her body was vanquished, her spirit was not. As the Washington Post wrote, “such was the affection that her friends and colleagues felt toward her that the blog detailing her treatment attracted thousands of visitors and hundreds of comments from around the world.”

So, as I said, it is in the spirit of celebration that we should remember Mara and a life devoted to the service of others, to her country, and to building bridges across cultures.

CAROL GALATY’S REMARKS

Mr. Ambassador, friends and colleagues of Mara, I want to thank each of you today for holding this celebration of Mara here in Jordan and fro inviting us to join you. Please escuse me for reading, otherwise I might not be able to get through this!

This is the place, the job and you are the people Mara chose to come to even after one teacm of melanoma specialists in Boston told her it was a mistake that might cost her her life. Determined to come to Jordan, Mara continued to consult top specialist across the US until she found enough top specialists, at the best hospitals who agreed that she could receive her treatment in Jordan, managed by her doctors at Sloan Kettering in New York. Mara never regretted her choice. Shortly before she died she reaffirmed this saying: “If I had to make the choice again, I would do the same thing!”

I agree with Mara. Working in Jordan were some of the happiest and most rewarding times of her life! Had she been treated in Boston, she would have spent a miserable year in the hospital, she would never have gone to Jordan and ...she and I believe… it would not have saved her life! All of you, here, have been themost amazing, thoughtful and supportive friends and stimulating people to work with that anyone could imagine. I addition, Jordan is full of friendly people and is a fascinating country with a long history which it generously shared with Mara. You and Jordan not made Mara welcome and challenged her to do her best, but you have warmly welcomed us as her parents.

It is as Mara’s parent that I want to say a few words today. You know her as the active, insightful, caring person she became: I want to create a brief picture for you of the young Mara.

Mara’s birth was prophetic in many ways. As her father and I packed to move to Heilelberg, Germany, for a year, we found to our surprise that I was pregnant. 7 ½ months later, in the Frauen Clinic, Mara emerged to the laughter of the delivery staff, for I had asked in my poor German, “Ist enine Frau?” I had not said “Is it a baby girl,” but “Is it a woman?”

The nurses and doctors laughed, but I was correct. A part of Mara from the day she was born was a “Frau.” Certainly she was a smiling, happy baby, gurgling in her own language, and never crying even when she was hungry. As a matter of fact she was such a calm baby that the pediatrician who examined her at the hospital when she was 4 days old thought she was a Downe Syndrome Baby, and she spent the next 8 days of her life in the “Kinder Klinic” being tested for Down Syndrome before I was allowed to take her home. She ofg course was not Down Syndrome, just a very content happy baby! Yet, at the same time, she was also deep feeling, deep thinking and serious from her earliest years.

One day when Mara was about 3 and we were living in Green Bay, Wisconsin, her father and I were discussing our life living in Africa in the Peace Corps. Mara piped up with one of her serious Mara questions: “Where was I then?” Being a Zoologist, I explained--in hindsight with too much information—“Well, it was before we made you and ½ of yhou was inme and ½ of you7 was in your Daddy.” Mara thought quietly for a while, then looked at me with concern, “If my head was in you and my feet in Daddy, could people see my stomach?”

Mara always wanted ot help and take care of people, especially childten, from her earliest days. When she was 17 months old her sister Elise was born, and Mara loved helping me with Elise. Unfortunately, she was not always as helpful as she intended to be. Once, when she was helping me bathe Elise by washing her face, I suddenly realized that Mara had placed a wet wash clothe over Elise’s entire face. Elise nearly smothered!

Another day, when I picked Mara and Elise up at a friend’s house, Mara got in the car to go home but Elise, as frequently happened, refused. In frustration, with Mara in the car, I drove off to scare Elise. However, the lesson was lost on Elise for Mara started screaming hysterically, “DON’T LEAVE ELISE,” and I had to go back immediately to get Elise so Mara wouldn’t be upset!

Mara’s language skills, got off to and early, if strange start. Staying at the Embassy in Chile with my parents, Mara announce one day, “I can speak Spanish! I can say Coca-cola, Tang and galletas!” Who would have guessed that she would become the person we all knew who would one day speak nice languages?

As a teenager Mara tried everything. I now know she was giving us a preview of how she would lead her life. At junior high school she was briefly a cheerleader. Although she was happy with this role, her friends admit she was terrible cheerleader Nonetheless, she soon found a new role that both she and her friends thought was a good fit for her; she became the first female manager of the boys football team with locker room privileges. I think her work in the boys’ locker room with football players running around without any clothes on gave us our first glimpse of the “unembarrassable” Marta Galaty. The Mara who would later bare her chest to show people her mastectomy scars or her new breasts, whenever and where ever they asked!

Driving was not one of teenage Mara’s strengths. The first week she had her fist driver’s license, she skidded in the rain into a small tree. My car was totaled. Despite the fear of driving that this instilled her, she learned to drive here in Jordan and even, when driving us to Wadi Rum on the Desert Highway, got her little convertible sports care up to 104 miles per hour!

Let me address briefly how we have planned a continuing memorial to Mara and why we chose the Susan B. Komen Foundation “Mara Fund” as a fitting refection of her life, with a story justtold to me by a Portland, Oregon, acquaintance of the “Unembarrassable Mara.”

“I only met Mara a few times, yet her ripple is still felt my me and my daughter, Emily. When Mara was at my house for her farewell party, she gave me a gift. The gift was helping Emily understand what had happened to her Mommy, and to make the removal of my breasts something that was not too scary. I remember Emily wandering in and sitting next to Mara. Emily too was pulled in by the magnet that is/was Mara. Mara spoke to her softly, then whipped out one of her new stick-on breasts and handed it to Emily, inviting Emily to feel how real it felt and then to pass it around the room. Emily did this with a slightly embarrassed but interested and pleased smile.”

On today’s program you will find more about the Mara Fund and the annual “Mara Day” on her birthday, as well as how you can participate in this memorial starting by signing the guest book. We also have memorial Mara Pendants that Mara’s step mother in Portland, Oregon, made by hand. She invites all women woul would like to have one in memory of Mara to take one!

In closing let me paraphrase the poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, in calling to mind the Mara I loved so well and the person all of you knew. She had several lifetimes of accomplishments in her short 38 years…Ah Mara…
“Your candle burned at both ends;
It did not last the night;
But through your work, and to your friends—
You gave a mighty light!”

DANA MANSURI’S REMARKS

I would like to say welcome to Mara's family and how happy I am that you are able to be here with all of us today. We have all been waiting to share this time together with you here in Jordan after virtually sharing the last couple of months of Mara's life through her blog site on the internet. We have been waiting because we also wished to celebrate her life with you and to let you know how much everyone here loves and misses her too.

For me, when I think about Mara, I always think, connection. Even though she was far from us during her last few months, Mara always connected and her blog is a tribute to the love and connection she had with so many people all over the world. From the first time Mara and I met just a year ago, I felt as though we had been life-long friends and without knowing the details of our past, we knew each other. Mara had the most amazing ability to connect with just about anyone and everyone she met and in that meeting, she made you feel special, as if you were the only person in the room. She brought that special quality to everything she did.

I would like to share a few thoughts with you from renowned author, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who has been a comfort to so many people. She believed that Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. She believed that life doesn't end when you die, it starts. And for those of us who are left behind, it is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen and for us, Mara did not just happen. Thank you.

GEORGE KARA’A’S REMARKS

I am grateful to you... Mr. Ambassador……., to the USAID mission…., to Mara’s family and to David for giving me this honor to speak here today. I guess many would speak about Mara,… about her kindness…., her charming personality...., her ability to make everyone feel special….., about her brilliant, balanced and positive personality and love of life…… For me, I would like to take this opportunity to talk to Mara – to tell her that we all miss her and that we all missed the chance to say thank you..…

First, a thank you from Jordan….. Three weeks ago I received a call from a Jordanian Expert at the Ministry of Political Development. She expressed her gratitude and praised a paper prepared by USAID on civil society in Jordan, she said the person who prepared this paper knows Jordan more than I do…. All what she really wanted to say was thank you to Mara…..

Thank you for believing in our Jordanian local communities, in our political rights, in the Jordanian women’s rights….

And I say Thank you from all of your Jordanian friends, who enjoyed working with you ….from your colleagues in our Social Sectors Office, who all started and ended their days for the last two months reading your blog. We all feel you were one of us.

Thank you from my wife, for being a dear friend of hers,.. and from my three years old little daughter, Chantal, who is still asking for you to read her stories… And finally, a thank you from me. Galaty: I learned a lot from you.... you are my ideal, I can still feel your spirit all around me.

I thank you for believing in me; … for giving me the opportunity to succeed; I thank you for the smile that made my every day at work a fun day. …. for being my gym partner, my diet partner and most of all … thank you for being my friend.

Mara, we are committed to realizing your dreams, hopes and aspirations. May your soul rest in peace.

ARWA GHANMA’S REMARKS AT THE COMMEMORATION OF MARGUERITE ROSE “MARA” GALATY

I am honored to have the chance to speak today.

The other day, I got my 2008 desk calendar. So just like I do every year, I went through my 2007 calendar for important notes I had scribbled; meetings I had attended, reminders I had written for myself, people I saw that day and what we discussed, important events that took place, new births, departed loved ones. When I reached December 31, I couldn’t help but think of how I would have lived my life had I known what last year had in store for me. What would I have done differently? And this brings me to Mara. Mara was an example of how life must truly be lived. All life’s moments were precious to her and she lived them like there was no tomorrow. She seemed to have a deep insight about life that escaped so many of us. She had that special something that drew people to her; that charm, that charisma, that courage, and that carefree outlook on life. She always found ways to brighten someone’s day through a smile, a word, a gesture. She exuded warmth and lightness of spirit; one felt good just by being around her. I can go on and on...

To Mara’s parents I say: thank you for raising this wonderful person. I am sure you are very proud of Mara, proud of the kind of person she turned out to be, proud of her achievements, both personal and professional. We mourn her loss with you. Was she taken before her time? Everyone is inclined to say yes. But who are we to say when someone’s appointed time is? Psalm 90 says: “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Some people live to be a hundred, and when they depart our world, they pass quietly and are eventually forgotten. But a rare few, like our Mara, although they live for a short span, they leave a legacy and remain as beacons along the way because they had set a living example of how life is meant to be lived. If only we could all heed their example, the world would surely be a better place.

To Mara’s colleagues: It was a privilege to work with Mara, to which I am very grateful, and I am sure, so are many of you. I know that you will always cherish that special place in your hearts that will always be reserved for her.

To Mara: I would like to quote Gibran Khalil Gibran who said:

“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

Thank you, Mara, for teaching me how to live. I love you... I will remember you...

DAVID MEES’S REMARKS

Curt Hofer, our Embassy doctor who took Mara to the U.S. for treatment on September 4, a flight that Mara’s oncologist called “heroic,” told me that at one point during the flight the two of them did the Sudoku puzzle in their newspapers. After 15 minutes Mara evidently got tired, folded up her paper, and went to sleep. Curt kept working on his puzzle and eventually, about 40 minutes later, as he was working out the last numbers, realized he had made an error at some point, meaning the entire thing was botched. Out of curiosity he picked up Mara’s paper. To his astonishment, his patient with seven lesions in the brain, had actually finished her Sudoku, and it was correct! Curt told me that what he really liked was Mara’s humility: Rather than announcing she had finished, she just folded her paper and dozed off.

Mara and I met almost four years ago at Gil and Carol’s house in Washington,
D.C. It was a get-together for classmates of mine from graduate school. She and I attended the same school, ten years apart. Mara had just moved back East from the West Coast a couple of days before, and was about to start a new job: at USAID headquarters.

I was more interested in this Mara than in my old classmates: How could I not like her? (And… if I may add immodestly, how could she not like me? I brought an ice-cream maker along and made ice cream for them all.) A few days later I asked Mara out to dinner and we quickly learned what else we had in common: Not just a graduate school and work abroad, but marriages that our respective exes had decided had been bad, which to both of us had come as a terrible shock.

When she then told me about the breast cancer she had had, I saw -- for the first and last time -- an insecure Mara. It took all her courage to tell me that she had had a double mastectomy. She did though, on our “first date.”

I’d venture to say that usually, when a man learns a thing like that, he runs away. But Mara, as we all know, was special. I loved her zest for life. The thing I was mistaken about, however, was that I thought this vivaciousness had something to do with her having stared death in the face. I assumed this was why she treated every day and every person as a gift. It was not until these last months, when I got to know her closest friends better, and after I read the testimonials on the Mara blog, that I realized she had been like this from childhood.

And I mean early childhood: when Mara wanted to celebrate her fifth birthday, the adults wrote out the phone numbers as she insisted that she herself call all her friends to extend an invitation to her party personally. (Not even our Ambassador does that!)

Mara was the perfect companion for adventure, and I am so happy that we had many together. We did not just love each other but, until the very end, liked each other. She was such good company... as you know!

I am so happy that I was able to help during the last months when the cancer aggressively imposed its brutal agenda. Of course I am thankful to Phil, Cindy and many others for letting me spend this time with her. I admit that I surprised myself with a nursing instinct that came to the fore. Until the very end, I enjoyed being with Mara and wanted to take care of her. Before all this happened, I knew Mara could take care of me. In fact she did so right after we got to know each other when I had a minor operation. But that a self-centered man like me would take care of someone in her moment of need... Even a nurse from Barbados, when I told her that I was Mr. Boyfriend, said: “Oh and you stayed with her after she became so ill? That’s good!” Well, I can only conclude that Mara brought it out in me! I am not exaggerating when I say these things about myself: doing an act of volunteerism on March 29th will not come naturally, but Mara’s spirit will guide me then too.

The last two months of her life were hard, maybe more so for us than for her. Mara was strong and ever grateful for the care she received but she hated being a cancer patient. Until six days before her death, Mara was convinced she would somehow beat the odds, or at least have another year or two to finish her contract here in Jordan and then to enjoy a quiet life at my house in Annapolis.

This difficult time is not what will be foremost in my memories of Mara. I will remember Mara in all her energy and beauty.

In Jordan you observe 40 days of mourning. It’s just a number, of course, but perhaps there is meaning in the coincidence of this remembrance of Mara coming just after the formal mourning period. Mara expected to live on after death in all of us, and would have wanted to be a source of inspiration. Of course we now feel pain when we remember that our colleague and friend, or daughter, my girlfriend, is not sitting at her desk upstairs. (Mara’s best Jordanian friend, George Kara’a, sits there these days!)

But soon, the feeling that will dominate will be gratitude for having known her. And probably also a desire to pass along a little of Mara’s effervescence.

I would like to end with words of the 19th century thinker Maurice Bucke. My cousin sent this to me and it helped me deal with the incomprehensible nature of death. It is also a quote that I believe Mara would have liked:

“Deep in the soul, below pain, below all distraction of life, is a silence vast and grand. An infinite ocean of calm which nothing can disturb; nature’s own exceeding peace, which passes understanding.”

STEPHEN CARPENTER’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S TREE PLANTING CEREMONY

I’ve been asked to speak about Mara today for two reasons. First, I’ve been asked to represent the community of USAID implementing partners who worked with Mara. Secondly, I’ve been asked to say a few words about my observations of Mara as a spiritual person.

1. Implementing Partner: As one representative of the community of USAID implementing partners, I knew Mara only for a short time, but after speaking with the other implementing partners, I now see that my experience working with Mara was strikingly consistent with theirs. In fact, all of the implementing partners I spoke with used similar language to describe Mara: She was enthusiastic. She had an incredible spirit, she was collaborative and “an exceptional person to work with.”
Many of us who worked with Mara remember her unique way of using humor in a business setting. There was a sense of diplomacy in her choice of language that was quirky and informal, but often direct and effective. We remember Mara’s ability to cut to the heart of a matter, or defuse, or disarm – but always with respect and humor. For example, I was going through my emails with her and she rightly advised me “not to count my chickens before they’re hatched.” OK – message received. One of my colleagues recalls her advising a group at a roundtable to be careful about seeking approval from the higher-ups in case they put the “kaibash” on the proposed initiative. That’s definitely, uniquely Mara.

Mara’s enthusiasm for development work, her dedication, and intellectual engagement continually renewed our excitement for this work. I remember meeting Mara for the first time here at the Embassy. Mara instantly treated me like a trusted friend. I remember thinking how unusually direct, open, and genuine she was. I came out of meetings with Mara inspired, challenged to develop an idea further, or engaged on a deeper level. Such was Mara’s effect on me – and on so many of her colleagues and counterparts.

While speaking with other implementing partners and hearing them describe their stories about working with Mara, I often thought “Yes! That indeed was the Mara I knew.”

2. Spiritual: After visiting Mara at the hospital here in Amman, I mentioned to one of my counterparts at the Embassy that Mara was one of the most spiritual people I had ever met. What could I mean by this knowing that Mara did not consider herself religious in a traditional sense? I base this description on those same qualities that made Mara an exceptional colleague: her enthusiasm, her selfless dedication to others, and her upbeat approach to life “in spite of” the challenges she faced.
The most frequent word friends and colleagues have used to describe Mara is “enthusiastic.” I find it telling that this word comes from the Greek “en + theos” = god within, or inspired by god. Her person, her life, and her works were inspired. We can disagree on what we might mean by “theos” but certainly Mara’s life and works were imbued with meaning. I would describe anyone who devotes their life to meaningful action in this world, and inspires others to meaningful action, as a “spiritual” person.

Mara tirelessly dedicated her life to serving others. When I visited Mara in the hospital here in Amman, she confided in me (after requiring me to take two or three chocolates) that she felt a bit restless staying in bed. There was work to do. Given the circumstances, I found this amazing and yet consistently, selflessly, Mara.

Mara impressed us by her continued efforts “in spite of” the many challenges she faced. The 20th century theologian Paul Tillich, in his book The Courage to Be, redefines the spiritual person as one who affirms life “in spite of.” We all knew Mara as a courageous person who affirmed life and meaning “in spite of” the challenges.

As I reflect on Mara’s life and works, I am amazed by her courage and selflessness. As one member of the community of implementing partners who knew her only briefly, it was inspiring to work with someone so dedicated, talented, and funny and all this “in spite of” the challenges. We will miss her.

Kasr Ghilane, Tunisia, 2005

2007-12-19T05:11:00.000-08:00

Mara's Portland, Oregon Memorial Service-with Additions and Tempory Deletions

2007-12-09T09:05:00.001-08:00

Below is the program and some of the speeches from the Portland, Oregon Commemoration Service held to celebrate Mara. With appologies it is a bit small because it was scanned in as a JPEG.

REMARKS BY SARAH BUCKLEY AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERVICE IN PORTLAND OREGON

I am honored to have been asked to speak; many thanks to Mara’s family for holding a Portland service.

Mara had such an impact on my professional life and of many others at Mercy Corps-- from interns to Country Directors.

Mara and I worked together from 2001 to 2004 when she left for USAID. As it the case for everyone Mara came into contact with, we hit it off immediately. We were the civil society team at Mercy Corps HQ. Responsible for working with hundreds of staff around the world on deepening citizen participation, government accountability and peaceful change in MC’s programs. We complemented each other well. Mara was full of great ideas and an ability to convince others of them. I was the more practical implementer.

I am not exaggerating when I say that Mara almost singlehandedly got Mercy Corps to truly adopt it’s Civil Society approach in its programs. I won’t try to explain this in too much detail but many of you will know what I’m talking about. Through sheer force of personality she was able to convince the most cynical field staff of the importane of civic sector strengthening in all of their programs. She was so enjoyable and creative to work with that field staff always knew they’d get a great product and her all if they could command some of her valuable time. I still think she is one of the most creative people I’ve ever worked with. And I take heart knowing that there’s folks like her in this world.

When I was working in Sri Lanka for Mercy Corps last year, I e-mailed with her, writing about how much I was enjoying managing a team. Mara, in her affirming way, wrote back “I’d work for you anytime.” It was this kind of supportive attitude that she had a supervisor that reminds and inspires me to unconditionally support others as the only way for all of us to reach our full potential. Mara always included me in her work. We’d spend hours together sitting at her computer or at the flip chart working out something that I’m convinced she could have done by herself in half the time. But she always made my input feel important and she was building my capacity as was her style and our job to do with others.

The list of skills I learned from Mara is endless. One that I will long cherish is training and facilitation. Mara gave me the confidence that I had something worthwhile to teach others when we were in the former soviet republic of Georgia doing a series of three trainings for Mercy Corps and local NGO staff on the principles of civil society. I was petrified-never having conducted any training before. She let me pick different exercises to conduct each time and supported me to do them. This was the beginning for me of doing something I enjoy very much and try to include in my work whenever possible.

While I’m still learning to do this effectively, Mara taught me to relax, love life and not to take it all so seriously. She had the right priorities. I watched her go through some awful times—I’ll never forgot walking into her cubicle one morning wanting to share about an event I’d just been to the way we always shared our work experiences. John was there and they told me she had breast cancer. I was amazed as I watched her deal with this heroically over the next couple years never letting it take over her life. I’ll never forget when she walked into my cube one morning and told me that her marriage was in trouble, and again watched her deal with this blow never letting it take over her life.

She dealt by sharing. I loved her for that. I always felt we shouldn’t be ashamed of our lives but still feel that I make others uncomfortable by sharing. Mara didn’t care. And rightly so. She survived by sharing. She was incredibly generous this way. It was another way she prioritized what mattered in life. She never sacrificed sharing with another person to some deadline and need to get tasks done. She was about interacting with people in an honest, forthright, humerous way.

I’m not sure how she did it but Mara was never afraid to be my boss and my friend. And I’ll never forget her for that.

And I would be hugely remiss if I didn’t say something Mara’s special legacy to me and my husband Jordan who also works at Mercy Corps: Grizzly and Maddy. When Mara was diagnosed with cancer she and John felt they needed slow down a little bit and get more grounded in Portland. Maybe something that would encourage them to travel less. They found the most beautiful, sweet cats out there. When they broke up and moved, I readily accepted the cats for a time, then for the long-term. They are such an important comfort in our lives today and they remind me of her all the time. She has given us a gift like no other. I feel a connection with her knowing how much she loved Maddy and Grizz and how happy it made her to know how much we love them too.

REMARKS BY LISA DOMENICO AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERVICE IN PORTLAND OREGON

Cancer is very difficult to comprehend. It strikes without warning. It takes lives too early. I believe it is fair to say that we are all struggling with this as we gather here today to honor Mara. I look for help wherever I can find it and I am learning to never underestimate the wisdom of young people.

When I went thru my cancer treatment, my son was 4 years old. One typical busy morning of making lunches and getting ready for work and school, he came up to me with his hands cupped like this. He said, “this is for you, Mama.” He opened his hands and they were empty. So I asked him what he was giving me and he said, “time.” He was giving me more time. (pause)

Mara has two young sisters here in Portland, Kassel and Laurel. I think we can learn from them as well.

When Kassel was 11 and in the 6th grade, she wrote this essay for school:

"Courage

"On Dec 31, 2000 my sister was married. When midnight came, everyone cheered including my sister. Pictures of her wedding show her with long dark hair and a beautiful smile. But one year later, her hair was gone and sometimes her smile too. My sister had breast cancer.

"My family and I rushed to help her thru this terrible ordeal. But when I saw her, I did not see my sister. I saw someone else. Her long dark hair was replaced by short platinum hair, her smile looked happy but sad. This was now my sister.

"My sister had chemotherapy every Friday. My sister came back from chemotherapy tired and sometimes her smile was replaced by a frown or even a tear.

"She kept losing her hair, eyelashes even. I started doubting that her old hair would ever come back. She kept on having chemo but the cancer stayed. So she then had an operation. After her operation she had to train her left arm again, from wriggling her fingers, to lifting a box. Where was my sister?

"But even after the operation the cancer stayed. So my sister started having chemo again but even then the cancer stayed.

"So then my sister tried radiation, everyday for 3 weeks. Then near the end of the 3 weeks, the doctors found no trace of cancer!

"After that, my sister’s smile came back, but her hair did not. Her hair started getting longer and darker but not like her wedding. When suddenly I realized, this was my sister. My sister from the wedding would never come back because my new sister had seen things that she before had not seen. She had been thru something no one wants to go thru. But most important, she had found courage inside herself, that hadn’t been there before."

The Louis Armstrong song, “It’s a Wonderful World” is a family favorite. It was recorded a week ago by Laurel. It is dedicated to Mara’s memory.
The perspective of young people is amazing.

Dead Sea, Jordan, fall, 2005 and Remarks From Mara' Washington DC Memorial Services

2007-12-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

At the pool of a hotel. The Dead Sea is in the background

We have promiced to give you the texts of the remarks made at Mara's Commemorative Services in Washington DC and we are posting them all now. Here they are. Tomorrow, Saturday, December 8, we will put up, with another beautiful picture I hope, a copy of the commemorative Service in Portland, Sunday, December 2.

The first two remarks were given at the Graveside Service and were not recorded, but you can hear all of ther other remarks from the Service at the Hilton on Sunday spoken on the Blog Videothat was put up a few days ago. However, for those of you who would also like to read the words, and it is a lot to read, or even down load them, here they are!

The remarks are included in the Blog in the order they were spoken at the two services. They are by: Carol Galaty (Mara’s Mother) and Peter Malnak (Mara’s US AID Boss in Jordan) at the Saturday, November 17, 2007, Graveside Service, and from the Sunday, November 18 Service, Carol Galaty, Gil Hill (step-father), David Galaty (father), Elisa Beth Galaty Alpen (Sister), Jodi-Burg-Torzewski (Grade School friend), KSK (Jr. High School, High School and College Friend), Luke Zahner (Friend from SAIS, Aspen Institute and Foreign Service), Liz McKeon (US AID Friend), Sally Kux (State Department Friend), and David Mees (Mara’s Partner).

CAROL GALATY’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S GRAVESIDE

I wanted to welcome you all to Mara’s resting place, here with my mother and other brave and giving foreign service people, many of whom my parents and I knew. This is where Mara’s ashes belong while her spirit, love and energy have passed on to each of us.

Mara was an amazing and stellar combination of her ancestors. From my mother, Florence Maisel Popper, Mara inherited drive, strength, diplomacy, openness, an ability to develop intimate relations with individuals and an inability to be embarrassed; her intelligence, quick wit, precision, language skills, and modesty in work and lack of physical modesty came from my father, “Mr. Ambassador,” or David Popper; and from her paternal grandparents, Ibby and Gordon Galaty, Mara inherited speed reading, sensitivity, a keen insight into individuals, spirituality and a love of helping people. Now Mara joins her ancestors. She is with us as an inspiration in our wondrous memories of her; she has become an inheritance for the generations to come as they move around the world, working to make it better.

Let me end with excerpts from W.H Auden’s Poem, “In Memory Of W.B. Yeats,” using slightly modified words:

Earth Receive an honored guest;
Mara Galaty’s laid to rest;
Let this wondrous vessel lie
Passing on her poetry.

She disappeared in the early winter,
O all the instruments agree
The day of her death was a dark cold day.

November 3 was her last afternoon as herself,
Surrounded by loved ones; resting peacefully,
The provinces of her body revolted,
The squares of her mind gently emptied,
Silence invaded the suburbs,
The current of her feelings failed:
She became her admirers.

A FAREWELL TO MARA GALATY FROM PETER MALMAK AT THE FOREIGN SERVICE CEMETERY, WASHINGTON DC

I’m grateful to Carol and all of Mara’s family to honor me with a place here today. I appreciate being able to say a few words about our Mara. First, I’d be remiss if I didn’t start by sending the many condolences to her family from the legions of friends and colleagues from USAID -- both in Jordan and throughout the world.

While many of Mara’s wonderful attributes flood my mind as I stand here today, none more cherished than Mara’s love for life and her commitment to living it every day. Mara made everyone feel special. Each one of us felt that we were all that mattered to her.

In a way, as we mourn her loss, it is impossible to not be devastated, knowing that the joy we had being with her and sharing our lives with her and having her enrich our world is now gone. Unbelievable. Unfair. She was brave and courageous and never let a thing slow her. She was strong, vibrant, and filled with life’s energies.

Mara was loved and respected by all. Her incredible ability to shine light in even the darkest of times was a gift. As many of you may know, it all began in March 2006. USAID needed a highly talented democracy officer for the work we do in Jordan.

We had already reviewed more than 50 resumes for the position that Mara applied for. Mara, of course, stood out. The time came for Mara’s interview with USAID’s Mission Director – a very experienced and tough-minded manager. Mara arrided, filled with charm. The interview was uncharacteristic -- with references to people they both knew, countries they both had traveled to, and cultural points so fine and interesting I found myself at a loss. After Mara exited the room, the Mission Director said: “what a treasure! Grab her fast before someone else takes her first.” That was Mara, shining, confident, and engaging. And for us, it was the right choice. Mara’s ability to work collaboratively was the reason that we, as a government and as a people, were able to so readily advance the issues so important to Mara. Mara built the closest and most effective relationships with our Jordanian counterparts, as she did in every country in which she worked, to advance democracy there. To Mara, cooperation was paramount, and results at the forefront. She opened, for the first time, pathways into the most reluctant Jordanian governmental bodies – winning them over and creating greater freedoms for all in Jordan. As a result, Mara transformed our new democracy program into a comprehensive, strategic initiative, quintuple the size, that paved the way for reform in Jordan that many said couldn’t be done. All the more impressive, she did what generally takes years to accomplish in a mere few months.

It was therefore no surprise that when Mara was diagnosed with her latest cancer, her hospital room in Jordan was transformed instantly into a wonderful tropical paradise from the flowers and chocolates that the hundred well-wishers brought by for her. It was also no great surprise that when Mara did pass away, the first person in line to sign the condolence book in Jordan was one of their nation’s most prominent Ministers.

Mara was an inspiration; someone from whom I will draw on for the rest of my life. Her brilliant, balanced, and positive approach taught me every day how to be a better person. I am truly indebted to Mara for these things and many more.
Dear Mara, it is impossible to believe you are no longer with us. We will forever feel your loss. Nonetheless, you remain with us, your warmth and openness and your love for life. And, we commit to realizing your hopes and your dreams -- we commit to being the guardians of your spirit, your memory.

CAROL GALATY’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERIVCE

“There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains.” (Anonymous)

I want to welcome all of you--- Mara’s family and friends-- to share in a celebration of that light that Mara has shed on each of us and that will remain with each of us and be passed on to generations to come.

Others this morning will talk of Mara as she was and as she became, so let me create a brief picture for you of Mara when she began.

Mara’s birth was prophetic in many ways. Dave Galaty and I moved to Heidelberg, where Dave was to work on his PhD dissertation. As we packed to leave the United States for a year, we found to our surprise that I was pregnant. Eight months later, in the Frauen Clinic, Mara emerged to the laughter of the delivery staff for I had said in my poor German, “Ist eine Frau?” I had not said,”Is it a baby girl,” but “Is it a woman?”

The nurses and doctors laughed, but I was correct. A part of Mara has from the day she was born has been a Frau. Certainly she was a happy baby, smiling, gurgling in her own language, and never crying even when she was hungry. As a matter of fact she was such a happy baby that the pediatrician who examined her when she was 4 days old told us she was a Down Syndrome baby and she spent the next eight days of her life in the “Kinder Clink” being tested for Down Syndrome before I was allowed to bring her home. But she was also a deep feeling, deep thinking, sensitive and serious being from her earliest years.

One day, living in Green Bay Wisconsin when Mara was about three, we were discussing our life in Africa in the Peace Corp with friends. Mara piped up with one of her serious Mara questions, “Where was I then?” Being a Zoologist, I explained --in hindsight too carefully-- “Well, half of you was in me and half of you was in your Daddy.” Mara thought quietly for a few minutes, then looked at me with concern, “If my head was in you and my feet in Daddy, then people could see my stomach.”

Later that summer we were talking while packing the car to go white water rafting and suddenly Mara announced, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to kill bunnies.” It took us a while to understand what her problem was and then longer to explain to her that “Shooting the Rapids” was not killing bunnies.

From the earliest days when Elise was born, Mara worried about her and took care of her. Mara loved helping me bath Elise, but I once, when I was holding and we were bathing Elise together, I noticed that Mara had placed the wet washcloth over Elise’s entire face. I was horrified; she could have killed Elise!

At three and a half Mara started “reading” bedtime stories to Elise before I came in to kiss them both good-night. One day when I picked Mara and Elise up at a friend’s house, Elise refused, as frequently happened, to get in the car to go home. In frustration I put Mara in the car and drove off to scare Elise. Unfortunately this didn’t bother Elise, but Mara became hysterical and made me go back IMMEDIATELY to get Elise.

Mara’s language skill bloomed early too, but it was a weak start. Staying at the Embassy in Chile with my parents, Mara announced on day, “I can speak Spanish! I can say Coca-cola, Tang and galletas!” Who would ever have guessed that this would become the person we all know who would one day speak 9 languages.

This little Mara grew to a person who had several life times of accomplishments in a very few short years. To paraphrase Edna St. Vincent Malay,

Mara…

Your candle burned at both ends;
It did not last the night;
But ah your foes, and oh your friends --
It gave a lovely light.

MARA, FROM DAVID GALATY

My memories of Mara are a father’s memories. One summer Mara kept going into the water without her prescribed earplugs. For a few nights she woke up screaming with an earache, and each night, in the middle of the night, I held her close until the analgesic medicines took effect. A parent’s job, after all, is to make it all better. And today there is nothing a parent can do to make it all better. We can only search for a way of knowing that it is somehow OK.

Mara’s time on earth seems like the time it takes a boulder to slip under the water in the middle of a lake. The boulder disappears, but ripples travel to distant shores. I am sure that all of us in years to come will find Mara-ripples all over the globe – even if we do not know for sure what caused them. Maybe we ourselves are now Mara-ripples.

Mara needs no eulogy. You all here present are her eulogy.

Mara needs no epitaph. She was her own epitaph.

Thank you for coming so that we can all share our sorrow -- and so that we can all celebrate the wonder that was Mara.

GIL HILL’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERIVCE

Mara was a gift to all of us. She started giving to me at the age of 8 when I began dating Carol. When we were married, Mara, Elise, Drew, and Bruce were our wedding attendants. The marriage gave me the delightful task of continuing my role as a parent to Drew and Bruce as well as assuming a new role as step – parent to Mara and Elise.

I had the pleasure of step–parenting Mara through her elementary, high school, undergraduate, and graduate years. Because others will cover this in depth, I will only offer one comment: She sure knew how to give “Good Daughter.”

Being a step–parent to her was a source of constant satisfaction to me although I must admit she wasn’t perfect. While at Churchill, she totaled Carol’s car one rainy night, ands threw a party at our house that got out of control. Fortunately, she had invited the Churchill football team to the party and they helped to re-establish control.

Mara’s gift to me will not end with her death – it will last the rest of my life.

AD LIB BY KSK FOLLOWING GIL'S REMARKS:

Jodi is going to go first, but I just want to say a couple of things to Gil. Gil, I was there on both of those occassions. Mara felt terrible about the car. She tried desperately to rip her lamenated driver's license in two while screaming, 'I'm never going to need this again.' And, as for the party, I will accept partial responsibility. But, I have to say, it was really fun.

ELISE’S REMARKS FOR MARA’S MEMORIAL CELEBRATION

Even if my mom and dad have already said it, I want to say THANK YOU for being here today. I know Mara would want me to say that.

“Thank you”, “I'm sorry” and “I love you” were three things that Mara never left hanging in the breeze. She always made sure she said them, generously.

In fact, two of those are among the last things she ever said to me

My father claims slightly jokingly that, right from the beginning, Mara thought she was my mother. And, I can't help but think that's funny. Because I think on some level Mara really did think that. In fact, she may have played that role for a few other people here too, including our own mother!

Mara was absolutely the big sister, in every sense. She was the kind of big sister you hear about – bossy, of course, overbearing and condescending, but at the same time, faithfully protective, endlessly supportive and incredibly loving. I was always the little sister, and life will never be the same without her. She was always there for me. As strong as Paul Simon's Bridge Over Troubled Water that was my sister. "When you're weary," she could say, "Feeling small. When tears are in your eyes. I will dry them all. I'm on your side. When times get rough, And friends just can't be found." We heard that song so many times when we were growing up. When I was sleeping at the hospital with Mara a few weeks ago, and we ended up lying awake much of the night, it was one of the first times I could say, "I will comfort you. I'll take your part."

I haven't had the strength yet to fully think through and grasp how life will be without you, Mara. But I know that I will miss you for the rest of my life. And that in times of trouble I will still seek your guidance, think "what would Mara say now" and in times of joy and success I will still seek your company and approval "see Mara I'm doing fine".

I will raise my children, your god children, with colorful descriptions of you and instill in them the values you believed in and that we shared and that way, in them and in me, you will always be with us.

I will always love you Mara, you will always be my big sister, and I will always be your little Pee.

KSK’S REMARKS AT MARA’S MEMORIAL CELEBRATION

As I was preparing for this moment. I sat staring at my computer screen – fingers perched on the keyboard, yet frozen in place. My task was to paint a picture of Mara’s youth, through anecdotes …to glean a few of her most notable characteristics from her innumerable, glorious traits. In other words, I was to deconstruct the Mona Lisa. “What was the essence of Mara,” I wondered. Who, was Mara? My fingers broke free:

She was self-sacrificing, yet independent. She was widely adored and innately successful, yet humble. She was grounded, yet free-spirited. Loyal, beautiful, disarming, silly, non-judgmental… The list went on and on.

Again, my fingers froze. These words didn’t begin to capture the cherished woman that we all love. I thought about what Mara would have said if she were here. “Kimberly. Don’t stress about this so much. I’ll tell you what. I’ve got to do some work and make some phone calls. Then, I’ve got a hair appointment and I have to meet some friends for lunch. Oh, then, I’ve got a coffee date. I could come over after … oh wait. I’m supposed to meet my parents for dinner and a lecture. Ok. I’ll be over after that. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

In the spirit of Mara’s “go with the flow” approach to life, I tried not to over think this, as I composed some stories. I hope they will give you a glimpse into Mara’s childhood years…

I met Mara in the sixth grade. Her family moved to Potomac and, lucky for me, they chose a house across the street from mine. On the first day we played, Mara came over to my house. She immediately sat down and demonstrated her mastery of the French braid on one of my dolls. Needless to say, I was impressed and quickly asked if she would braid my hair. For the rest of the year, she came over to my house almost every morning, and created all sorts of interesting variations of the classic French braid. As we walked to school, I felt special and pretty. At the time, I thought she enjoyed our morning ritual and liked showing off her talent. It wasn’t until many years later that she told me she actually hated it.

Even then, she was the altruistic Mara we all knew. She went out of her way to make others’ lives easier and more joyful. She never asked for anything in return or sought recognition.

You may have read in Mara’s obituary that she was a cheerleader, the aspiration of many 9th grade girls. Allow me to flesh out this odd tidbit of information. Mara was actually a terrible cheerleader. She knew that she was awful. But, she got up there game after game and tried her best. She couldn’t keep the beat and she literally giggled at herself while performing. All of her friends sat on the bleachers laughing with her. It became an endearing, charming part of who she was.

To have such confidence in 9th grade, when most kids were terribly insecure and angst ridden was remarkable. Mara never held back. She couldn’t carry a tune, yet she sang out loud. She wasn’t afraid to fail. It was the process of life that mattered, not the product.

On a typical day during Mara’s college years, she would go to classes – all of which were languages, by the way – then, she would go to work at a German pub. You might enjoy knowing about the required uniform. Let’s just say, think St. Pauli girl. Anyway, when she arrived home at around midnight, Nomi, Theresa, and I would be heading to bed. Mara would sit down and sigh. It was clear that she had had a few with the customers, while practicing her German. Instead of “goodnight,” Mara would turn to us with an amusing look of resignation and say, “I’ve got a 10 page French paper due tomorrow that I haven’t started.” Needless to say, she would get it done and somehow manage to get a good grade. Mara was an extremely intelligent multitasker.

The best way for me to describe my relationship with Mara is that she was a sister with no sibling rivalry. We went through practically every developmental stage together. From the time we were little girls to the time we were grown women, we could sit around for hours talking and never felt like there was enough time for what we had to say. Yet, we could also sit in silence, content to just be in the world together. Mara’s parents were second parents to me. Elise, the little sister I never had. What can I say? My life was blessed by Mara, as were all of yours -- blessed in immeasurable ways.

My stories of Mara are only a snapshot. I am sure you all agree that she is indescribable, and that no words can fully portray the unique person she was.

She was a quiet rain on a Sunday morning. She was the gun metal grey of a jet against the sky. She was the laughter of children. The force of a thunderstorm. Roots of a redwood.

“People are made up of energy,” she wrote to me after her grandmother passed away, “and when they die it is released and it is all around us, right?” Yes, Mara. You were right and now you are all around us. But, you are also in us and forever will remain a vital, glorious part of who we are.

We are consoled by Mara’s memory because the lessons of her life are the property and solace of us all. They remind us to strive to be in the moment…lend a hand…take risks…be ourselves…sing out.

REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERVICE BY JODI BURG TORZEWSKI

I met Mara in the first grade at Lafayette Elementary School. Although I could speak endlessly about Mara’s unique attributes as an adult, my job today is to tell you about her as a child.
Mara had charisma even in first grade. We all wanted to copy whatever she did. Mara even made wearing a retainer seem cool. She was curious and funny, and had a way of making everyone she spoke to feel important and fascinating.
Mara was a wonderful best friend, and many of my fondest memories are from the ordinary moments of our lives:
• Walking home from school together for lunch.
• Playing with Barbie dolls.
• Mara’s dad catching us running around in our birthday suits during a sleep over (we were 6).
• Talking about our crushes on boys.
• Playing soccer.
• Bleaching our hair with sun-in.

There were also moments that stand out.

When we were in second grade our teacher, Mrs. Frazier, had a policy of turning messy desks upside down in the classroom. Mara had many admirable qualities, but she wasn’t always neat. So she and her desk fell victim to this policy. The contents of her desk—a big pile of crayons and pencils and notebooks and who knows what else—were dumped onto the floor in the middle our class. Unfortunately, Mrs. Frazier had forgotten that Mara would be gone for six months in Chile where her grandfather was Ambassador at the time. So there it was, her overturned desk and everything in it, on the floor in the middle of our classroom, for six months, until Mara returned.

Ever since Mara taught me how to draw more than a stick figure, I knew that she had real artistic abilities. An artist friend of ours observed Mara’s home in Portland a few years ago and said Mara had the eye of an artist. She likely inherited this from Carol, who used her own talent, when we were children, to create unusual, spectacular, and, unfortunately very uncomfortable Halloween costumes. Picture, if you can, little Mara dressed in a huge paper mache candy cane costume. Or better yet, as a giraffe, long neck and all. Mara would wobble around the track at school for the Halloween parade in her elaborate costumes, and from door to door while trick or treating. She was always a good sport.

Finally I will leave you with this image. Mara and her family moved to Potomac when she was in the sixth grade. We threw her a surprise good-bye party that for some reason was also a costume party. We dressed Mara up as a cowgirl and spent the night disco dancing to the Grease soundtrack. If you need proof, look at the photo I have posted at the reception.

Mara has been my best friend, my inspiration, and my role model for most of my life. She is my son’s godmother and will be his inspiration. Mara was simply one of the most gifted and caring people I have ever known. She has always had the rare ability to bring people together, to create a community. She will always be with me and with all of us.

LUKE ZAHNER’S REMARKS AT MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL SERVICE

The last time I was here in the Hilton Ballroom, I was wearing Mara’s prosthetic breasts to a drag costume party. I absolutely never would have asked to borrow them, but when Mara heard about my geisha costume, she insisted I use them. “Why use tube socks when you can have the real thing?” she said. I think the most embarrassing part was having to drop them off with Carol in an innocent brown paper bag a few days later, hoping she didn’t know exactly what I had been doing with them in the first place. Mara promised she wouldn’t tell, and we all know how discrete she could be, but I wasn’t convinced.

I mention this not only because Mara would have loved the irony – we all know what a brilliant sense of humor she had. And I don’t mean her willingness to help a friend in a pinch, though there definitely was that. But Mara was determined to de-stigmatize her cancer, to show there was nothing to be ashamed, that she owned it and it didn’t own her. Her trademark openness was just one of her ways of accomplishing this. I think almost everyone in the room at one time or another probably saw Mara’s prostheses – she would take them out and pass them around when she was sitting in her USAID cubicle, or ask you to see “how real they feel” during a random coffee or lunch. At a dinner party we could always be assured that, even before the second bottle of Pinot had been uncorked, Mara would be passing the breasts around the room urging people to examine and squeeze them.

On occasion, people would be upset with the fact that she had cancer. They would sometimes tell her, “It’s just not fair.” Her reply was always that it wasn’t an issue of fairness. “It just is.” To her, it was just life, something she had to live with, and deal with, demonstrating along the way an enormous amount of courage, but making it look rather effortless most of time.

In the articles about Mara that have circulated recently, much has been made of her bridge-building and other skills, and her incredible accomplishments. That facet of her is definitely something that cannot be said enough – she was truly amazing. How could anyone but Mara have managed to get agreement on anything out of people from Kosovo and Serbia right after the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia? Indeed, how many people would even have tried? But she pulled it off, astoundingly. You have to wonder if Clinton had named Mara his special envoy to the Balkans instead of Dick Holbrooke, would Bosnia and Kosovo would both be in the European Union and NATO by now?

Having witnessed her in action countless times, I think her approach was probably best described as “constructive co-optation.” She made everyone she worked with want to achieve success as much as she, and she made sure everyone felt ownership of the final product. I’ve seen plenty of times where she brought around people, myself included, to her approach to a problem in such a way they thought they had come up with the idea themselves. When she would hear basically her original idea, or a close variant, repeated back to her, a broad smile would come across her face, and she’d say “That is amazing, what a great idea!” knowing that regardless of who got credit, a good idea was moving forward.

Fortunately for many of us, her creativity was not limited to professional endeavors. Vacation suggestions? Have you thought of Progresso, Mexico? Who gives the best backrub in the office? Step into Mara’s cubicle. And how many of us have gone to her for relationship advice? If I asked for a show of hands, I’d expect three quarters of the people here to raise them. Mara was the go-to person for just about anything.

Mara, of course, didn’t always know exactly where she wanted to go, and her creative process needed room to expand on occasion. You had to hand it to her, though -- she was determined to get everything just right. I imagine at one time or another she probably included most people in the room in her deliberations on how to renovate her DC apartment. Here her creativity was in full-throttle as she laid that place out. The bathroom sink had to be based on one she saw in Banja Luka, with a stone floor from I’m not sure where and a special bathtub from Italy. (How many people can boast of having a sink from Banja Luka?) And this is not even to mention the infamous recycled glass counters – three times she tried to get samples delivered before she finally gave up and got butcher block put in. Then there was the painting consultant. It’s funny, when I heard her describe the colors for the bedroom I remember thinking, hmm, white walls and a sky-blue ceiling…? But it actually looked great. It was so, Mara. As with so many of Mara’s ideas, personal, professional, or whatever – it just seemed to work.

I think the thing that struck those of us who met Mara for the first time at SAIS was, of course, her huge personality, the infectious laugh, her great smile….Another thing that stands out, even back then, was how busy she always seemed to be. While she always seemed relaxed, with had all the time in the world to be with you, she was in constant demand, always running a tad bit late or needing to run off to meet this friend or attend that appointment. She never wasted a minute, and this was something that remained constant even through her last cancer treatments.

My partner Chris once compared her to Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series – as most of you will know, Hermione had this amulet that allowed her to be in two places at the same time. To Mara, a calendar was three-dimensional, and it worked! I don’t know how she did it, but she always found time for you – and if there was ever an emergency, she’d drop everything to come to your aid. And if her scheduled dinners or meetings overlapped, it was just the opportunity for more of Mara’s vast constellation of friends to meet, to intersect. Just another way she brought people together.

This leads to what several others have also said is probably the most amazing thing about Mara – the closeness, and intimacy, of her friendship with you. Times spent with Mara were utterly magical – regardless of anything else going on in her life, when you were with her, she was entirely yours, everything else would fall away and she focused on being with you. She made you feel so special. It is that richness of friendship, and deepness of connection, that Mara leaves behind, as her most precious legacy.

Thank you.

REMARKS AT MARA'S MEMORIAL BY LIZ McKEON

I will not share any of my dozens of Mara stories today. I would be unable to get through it. Instead, I would like to share a moment which I personally never witnessed, but that captures Mara so well. I share this story, by the way, with the consent of those who were there, and with their patient indulgence for the artistic liberties I will take in its retelling.

In the spring of 2005, three extraordinary people traveled to Kosovo. Their mission was to assess the likelihood that violence would erupt in that battered and fragile territory, and to recommend steps the US government could take to avert or mitigate conflict.

All three had significant experience in the Balkans. All three knew their own minds. All three had strong opinions. There was Liz Hume, a lawyer and mother of two-year old twins who traveled fearlessly to garden spots like Bosnia and Afghanistan. There was Ed Dickens, who with his suspenders, Yale education, voluminous memory and intuition for protocol made him the archetype of a State Department career foreign service officer, as if sent by Hollywood Central Casting. And then there was Mara.

The timing of the trip could not have been worse. Tension was rippling throughout the international community in Pristina. Just days before the team arrived, the Prime Minister had been indicted as a war criminal and was about to be sent off to The Hague. The US Office was uneasy, to say the least, and nearly sent the team home.

Long days of meetings turned into even longer nights of debate, as the team tried to figure out its common position on conflict. On the last night of the trip, the night when ideas, adrenaline and panic typically fill a room as the debriefing outline comes together, this team was falling apart. Patience was running thin. Nerves were frayed.

Ed, for his part, intellectualized how the response should fit into the US foreign policy framework. Liz couldn’t get past the misplaced emphasis on banking and small business development. But Mara was simply enthralled by the individuals and groups she had met over the previous two weeks. She continually brought up the potential to use a Mercy Corps type approach. She spoke passionately about a young Kosovar activist, who boldly wrapped police crime scene tape around the perimeter of the United Nations building, in a symbolic gesture to implicate the UN for its failure to restore stability. Over and over, Mara kept reminding her team of the importance of tapping into the creative power of NGOs as staple ingredients of conflict reduction.

As the night wore on, Ed grew impatient and finally lost it. “Mara,” his voice growing louder, “Stop talking about NGOs. You now work for G, as in GOVERNMENT, not an NGO.” With a vein now popping through his forehead, Ed continued, “There is no ‘N’ and no ‘O’ in your job! You, Mara, are now a CAPITAL ‘G’ and that is the end of the story!!”

The room fell silent. Liz avoided eye contact and stared at the keyboard. Ed retreated into his chair. After a pause, Mara took a breath, looked at Ed, cocked her head to one side and asked with a curious innocence, “Are you serious?”

Within moments, all three fell into a domino cascade of laughter. The jig was up. Ed’s defenses were shattered. Liz breathed easier. And all three of these extraordinary, accomplished, intelligent people finally let go and got to work.

This is what Mara did. She took everyone seriously, but she helped them not to take themselves so seriously. She possessed an uncanny ability to see all the interlocking pieces that made a watch keep time. This means that she never wore just one hat. Mara was never a “G” or an “NGO.” She was an M-A-R-A.

In closing, I want to say that above all and until the moment she left us, Mara was absolutely reckless in the way she shared herself. Nothing illustrates that quite as well as her blog. It may have started as a way to lessen the demands on Mara to communicate to a wide circle of family and friends, but in the end the blog became a gift to all of us. For despite our sorrow in reading about the path of her disease, we also got to feast on the daily wisdom, humor, supportive comments, and memories of strangers with names like Zlatna and Ems and Bunyeta and Laura G and so many others. The blog became a meeting place where our celebration of Mara began. It became a practice ground where we learned to follow her example, and be reckless in the way we shared ourselves.

SALLY KUZ AND ANN BISGYER’S REMARKS AT MARA’S MEMORIAL SERVICE

I am honored to have been asked to represent Ann Bisgyer and to share my own thoughts about Mara, an extraordinary woman whom I was proud to call my friend. Ann is a close friend of Mara’s and a member of Mara’s Breast Cancer Support Group in Portland, Oregon, who unfortunately couldn’t be here today because of cancer related problems. Ann writes:

“Please close your eyes and remember the first time you met Mara. I can tell there are smiles on all the faces here today. That’s what Mara did – she made you smile. There was an inner glow about her that easily became your inner glow.

I remember the first time I met Mara; it was at a Retreat for Women with Breast Cancer. This was our first evening together and the facilitator had not started anything “official” yet. This is when you would normally let your hair down, kind of hard to do when 1/4 of us were bald but we were getting to know each other. Here was Mara sharing stories about her experiences and true to form within 10 minutes Mara had whipped out her prosthesis and it was wiggling and jiggling on the table. Before we knew what Mara was about she had all of us pulling out our prostheses, trying on other sizes, and generally throwing them around the room. Mara had us laughing hysterically.

And that is a lot of what we did together, we laughed and we cried. There were 4 of us in our breast cancer support group who built a special bond. We had dinner at least once a month and got together frequently. One of my favorite stories is when, after her “ex” had moved out and Mara was staying in the alone house until they could sell it, we all went over to cook dinner together. To cheer her up we stopped on the way and got Mara a pair of sexy red underwear – you always need a new pair of sexy red underwear. Then, at some point in the evening we decided to make it Mara’s house. We moved furniture, took down pictures, hung rugs and completely changed the house. The transformation had occurred. It was now Mara’s home for as long as she was going to live there.

Ann writes of the balancing act – living your life after a cancer diagnosis. She recalls a week Tuscany with 12 of her closest friends, including Mara, and how, as they were exploring the sights, eating the most delicious food in the world, walking through towns built centuries ago, they would lose Mara only to find her on the steps of some building, talking to DAVID. It was new then, but this was a love Mara was able to hold onto and grow with; even through the roughest bouts with cancer she and David were still planning for their future together!

Once Mara’s cancer metastasized, Ann was Mara’s link to the world of metastatic disease. Not a role Ann wanted to have, but she was determined to help because Mara had helped her in so many ways when Ann’s cancer had metastasized.

Ann closes her remarks with words from Hannah Senesh:

“There are stars whose light reaches the earth only after they themselves have disintegrated and are no more. And there are people whose scintillating memory lights the world after they have passed from it. These lights which shine in the darkest nights are those which illuminate the path for us.” Mara is my light.”

As for my own thoughts about Mara – like Ann, it was breast cancer that originally brought us together. We met through work, but our connection was a deeply personal one. Although we both lived in Washington, we met in Bulgaria at a civil society conference. Picture the sleek, modern Sofia Hilton. A big room with round tables, filled with activists from the region and their American partners. Intense conversations over coffee in the lobby. Mara’s element.

To me Mara personified a breath of fresh air. She was always in motion. She looked at the world with wide-open eyes. She communicated honestly and directly. She brought passion and commitment to everything she touched. She refused to be a victim of cancer or anything else. She was at home everywhere. No institutional or geopolitical boundaries, nobody’s cynicism or indifference, constrained her.

I will hold tightly onto two of Mara’s many gifts:

First, being with Mara was always an excursion from the mundane – an impromptu walking tour of Sofia on our last morning there. A quick trip to Fredrick in Mara’s dashing new sports car. A spur of the moment afternoon movie at the Avalon. Even a weeknight dinner at my house – juggling food, kids, homework, and piano – was a mini-vacation with Mara. Over such dinners Mara and I solved all of our personal problems. Then we moved on and solved all of the world’s problems.

The second gift that I will cherish is Mara’s distinctive aesthetic sense. Mara was drawn to beautiful things and created loveliness around herself, pulling together colors, textures, objects and images in glorious combinations. We saw this in her personal style, in her home, and even in her USAID cubical -- now that is a challenging canvas to paint! I believe that Mara’s passion for beauty was tied to her insistence that we not settle for the ordinary, that we fill our lives with meaning. When we were repainting our house, Mara spent hours helping us choose colors. Together we chose deep but muted greens and blues, a rich beige, lavender for our daughters’ room, and vibrant green for our kitchen. Now Mara’s colors surround my family and me every day.

Mara had so much important work still to do, so many connections between people still to make, and so much more beauty and affection to bring to our lives. But though we grieve for Mara, and though it saddens us to think of the lives she won’t grace, we know we are blessed to have known her, to have felt her love, and to have been strengthened and inspired by her wisdom and her courage. We will carry the gifts she gave us the rest of our lives.

When we realized how ill Mara was, we all hoped and prayed for a miracle. I know now that we already had our miracle: It was Mara.

DAVID MEES’ REMARKS AT THE COMMEMORATIVE SERVICE FOR MARA

I’ve known a great love: Mara.

She and I met a few stones’ throws from here, at 1910 “S” street in April of 2004. I arrived at the party an hour and a half late. Maybe that’s why Mara felt a connection? Arriving late allowed me to stay late and chat after the others had left. How could I not like her: that beautiful, animated face with the expressive eyes, that inquisitive mind, her easy laugh! Later I learned her sweetness was genuine and came with wisdom.

That first day, looking her over, there was only one thing missing…um, two actually. A few days later I asked Mara for a date, though I called it “going for a walk with you.” Mara said Yes. The evening came; we talked and talked, though something was odd. I did not want to be rude and stare, but in the few glimpses I caught, it appeared that this evening Mara was not flat-chested after all. After dinner we went for a walk. All the while I was doubting my powers of perception. I told her I liked her. Finally Mara “fessed up:” “They’re silicone.” “Really?!?” “Yes, I’m sorry.” She told me about the cancer, the double mastectomy. And then: “Do you like me still?” “Well, you’re still you, aren’t you?” That, apparently, was the right thing for me to say.

Mara and I loved each other’s company. We never tired of it and somehow never irritated the other. I was often bemused by Mara’s heavy social schedule. I’d gently scold her for wearing herself out. She in fact welcomed my company for it’s slowing-down effect. (Mara actually loved doing crossword puzzles and knitting.) She never put pressure on me to join her on the social circuit, leaving me free.

She quickly conquered my family with her charm, including Mary Louisa. My cousin’s four-year old had a big splinter in her foot that day. She would allow no one to help her with it or touch her until a total stranger named Mara came along. Mara somehow won Mary Louisa’s confidence instantly, made this into a fun project and persuaded the little girl they could get the splinter out without pain. Sure enough, it worked!

Mara had an affirming quality. She was not just life-affirming but you-affirming. She was entirely tolerant of my foibles, and would even encourage excesses, such as my purchase of a car with a twelve-cylinder engine. She loved that car for its not-slowing-down effect. And it did get us quickly to Tel Aviv and Damascus.

By the way, Mara was a fabulous navigator. Whether we were in the middle of Vermont or the capital of Syria, Mara always knew where to go next. We did get lost once in Tunisia, and found ourselves at the border with Algeria. We turned around and after an hour and a half, way beyond paved roads, were rewarded with a treat from the ancient world. At our destination we took our clothes off and luxuriated privately in a thermal bath built by the Romans. The two stone lion heads were no longer used as spigots, but hot air still emanated from their open mouths. Our 3 ½ years together were packed with romantic moments like that.

Mara was not a religious person. She was, however, spiritual and believed in life after death. She said that her spirit would live on in all the people she had known. It is no coincidence that she was a godmother four times over. She could never just buy one present, especially for a child.

Mara loved the idea that came via the blog that we all help someone or some cause on her birthday, March 29. Let’s do it! Mara’s family and some of her friends and I had the idea for some sort of Mara Fund. After Nancy Brinker and others at the Komen for the Cure organization offered to play their part, we decided that this too would be a very real way that we could give meaning to, and celebrate, Mara’s life. As we have just heard, Mara “handled” her cancer extremely well. It was never about her and her suffering. Mara, as was her wont, thought of others and shared. And she did so in her typical un-embarrassable way. She would be thrilled to see Komen for the Cure, using her example and using contributions made in her name, making strides to limit the suffering of future cancer patients and to limit the incidence of fatal cancer. 3 The specific focus of the fund will be the thing that Mara was so good at: Countering shame. And it will do much of that - as Mara would have done - abroad, where shame is often the major obstacle to early detection. If you would like to contribute, there is information in the program. And here is yet another way Mara’s spirit may live on.

This is Mara’s own idea: She always said that if she made it to 40, she was going to throw a big birthday bash. On the day she learned that the doctors had given up hope, she told me she would still want us to have a big party on her 40th birthday in 2009. For the organization of this world-wide event I nominate you, Carol Galaty! We’ll want program booklets.

In closing, I will share the last thing Mara said to me. It was just two words, a common expression, but also typically Mara. These words were meant for you as well. She spoke them on Thursday, November 1, and she conveyed them again --I’m convinced-- the next day, after she had been brought home. But this time she no longer spoke. She looked me in the eye with deep intensity. It was a simple: “Thank you!!

Dougga, Tunisia, fall 2004

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Exploring a Roman city.

Annapolis, Summer 2004

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Utrecht, January 2005

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Dinner at Jonathan and Sigrid's place, Ems' dog looking on.

On the Island of Djerba, 2005

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This is David: Now that I am back in Amman I will share some photos of Mara. Here you see her in Houmt Souq on Djerba, Tunisia. We had visited a student of English named Olfa and her family in Tunis. She had henna'd Mara's hand.

Video of Mara's Memorial Service, November 18, 2007

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This is a Quicktime movie. It has a personality of its own and it can take a few minutes for the video to load itself. Sometimes you get strange messages about pushing space bars and other times, if you do not automatically see the video picture, you need to click on the green arrow in the rectangle at the top near the title for the for the video and play button to appear. Often the video and play button come up by themselves but it takes quite a while. When the video and it's control bar is visable click on the play button (the forward triangle to the left under the video box) to see the video. The Memorial Service was about 1 1/2 hours and may be more than you want to watch, or have time to watch at one sitting. Once the video has started you can also move the round button ahead and stop when you reach a point in the video you want to see.

If your computer tells you you need to download Quicktime, or if you cannot see the movie, you can down load a FREE quicktime by clicking here. You will see a section in the middle of the page labeled, "Download the free player." Choose your operating system (for most of you it will be Windows XP). Uncheck the boxes asking you to sign up for various services and emails from Apple and ignore the box asking for your email address. Then click "free download now". Windows machines will ask you if you want to download or run the file; choose to run the file. Along the way just answer yes to all questions. This process takes a while but it is worth having Quick time and it enables you to see the memorial service!

Thank you for joining us. Over the next few days the text for the speeches will be put up on the blog if you prefer to read them.

PROGRAM FOR Video of Mara's Memorial Service, November 18, 2007

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Sorry, We are having some technical dificulties up loading the video. Hopefully we will have this fixed by tomorrow (Thursday the 29th or Friday the 30th)! For people who did not attend the memorial service and/or get a copy of the program, below is a copy of the program that was handed out at the memorial service that will be on the video .

THE MANY FACES OF MARGUERITE ROSE “MARA” GALATY
March 29, 1969 – November 3, 2007

Mara at 18 months in Cyprus her first international stint as a UN Peace Force troop

Mara Green Bay Wisconsin, 1974 brushing her teeth… already into preventive health care

Marguerite Rose “Mara” Galaty, a life force and an extraordinary presence in the field of international development, died Nov. 3, 2007, of metastatic melanoma. She was 38 but lived a life so full, she could have been 98. Mara, who at the time of her death was working for the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) in Amman, Jordan, had battled cancer since she was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 32. Scarred by surgeries, reeling from radiation and chemotherapies, she nevertheless embraced life with energy and joy. She had an extraordinary ability to connect to people and consequently had an enormous circle of friends all over the world. The day before she departed Jordan for treatment, over a hundred colleagues and friends from the US Embassy and non-government organizations, as well as high-level representatives from the Jordanian government, stopped by her hospital room to visit her.

Loyal to her friends and colleagues, Mara loved and related to people on an intimate basis. From birth a serious, thoughtful, hard working person, Mara also loved to have fun and dance. She brought warmth, light and laughter to family, friends, and their children as well as to large formal gatherings. Briefly a cheerleader, albeit not a very good one, at junior high Mara became the first female manager of the boys’ football team with locker room privileges at High School. A multifaceted leader, her life reflected her willingness to try almost anything and forge new paths as she attempted to achieve her ideas. In both her personal and later professional life she was brave. She was not afraid to look silly or fail, and never boasted of success, moving on quickly to new projects.

Mara’s great skill was developing bridges between people who were traditional enemies. One of her enduring legacies stemmed from her work in 1997 and 1998 at the Aspen Institute in Berlin, Germany. Not content to organize typical conferences and talk-fests, she applied a knack for innovation to the policy area, skillfully disarming critics along the way with her infectious charm and talent for “inclusivity.” Hand-picking up-and-coming young leaders from the entire Balkan region, she managed to form a working group, with participants reflecting all sides of the conflict in former Yugoslavia, to thrash out concrete proposals to solidify peace in that troubled corner of the world. Many of the recommendations from the group were implemented and a number of young leaders now serve in positions of authority in their countries; two serve as European members of parliament. The network continues to meet on trans-Atlantic relations today. The connections forged in this group proved enormously helpful when the Balkans were thrown into a new crisis during the violence in Kosovo in the late 1990s.

More recently, Mara brought her talent for coalition-building to bear in Jordan, bringing together non-governmental organizations, the Jordanian government, USAID and the European Union to focus on democracy-promoting initiatives. In her short time in Jordan, she developed more than $30 million in new programs that directly assisted local communities throughout that country. Her last major initiative was a series of programs to support Jordan’s upcoming municipal elections. She was looking forward to watching the polls on November 20th from afar. Sadly, she did not survive to see her efforts bear fruit.

Capitalizing on her disarming and infectious openness, she shared her cancer experiences widely, becoming an international resource for women who had breast cancer. She gave numerous interviews and spoke candidly about the disease, often in one of the eight foreign languages which she spoke with proficiency. Her candor about the disease helped to demystify it and encourage countless women to undertake regular self-examinations and mammograms.

As she fought her last battle with melanoma, Mara began a blog, http://maragalaty.blogspot.com. Originally conceived as a way to keep her circle of friends informed of her progress in fighting the disease, the site eventually attracted thousands of followers, who continuously checked the blog for updates and rooted for Mara’s recovery until the end. Both the blog and the responses it engendered brought together strangers from U.S to Bangladesh, from Russia to Kenya.

Mara began her international career at birth when she entered the world in Heidelberg, West Germany. She grew up in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Washington D.C., and Potomac, Maryland, with a high school semester in Kassel, Germany, extended living experiences in Merida, Mexico, and a college semester in Bonn, Germany.

While a student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Mara raised funds and gathered a group of students who flew to Mexico following Hurricane Hugo to repair damage in the small villages near Merida that the government was not able to reach.

By the time she left the University in 1991 with a BA degree, Mara spoke, with fluency and a reasonable degree of proficiency, German, Spanish, French, Russian, and Serbo-Croatian. When serving with the Peace Corps, she picked up Bulgarian; she later added Turkish and Dutch to the mix, and was working on Arabic in Jordan.

After the Peace Corps, Mara taught English in Istanbul, Turkey, and attended Johns Hopkins University’s School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) in Washington, where she served as class vice president during her second year. At SAIS, she so floored people with her knack for languages she earned the nickname “Poly-galaty.”

Mara was able to focus on her commitment to help bring peace to the Balkans when she became an associate of the Aspen Institute during a stint in the prestigious Bosch Fellowship program from 1996 to 1998. In addition to her work with young leaders, she tirelessly recruited senior policy-makers to engage in discussions to solidify peace in the Balkans. Her charm and diplomatic skill, with a touch of steely determination, proved too much for many leaders to resist, and her high-powered working group, organized in parallel with the young leaders group, demonstrated considerable clout when it weighed in on the Balkan disputes in 1998, immediately preceding the conflict in Kosovo.

Her heart, however, was in working with the grassroots, and this is what she dedicated much of the last ten years of her life to. Leaving Europe, she moved to Portland, Oregon, where she took on a civil-society development program at the international NGO Mercy Corps. By the time she left the organization four years later, she had been instrumental in developing projects in nearly every corner of the world, from Africa to Asia and Central America. The work that gave her the greatest satisfaction was at the most local of levels, encouraging people to form interest groups to improve their lot. A land conflict project she initiated in Guatemala, for example, eventually blossomed into a multi-million dollar program that so far has resolved nearly 150 land conflicts and has attracted funding from both the U.S. government and European Union.

When asked in the final days of her life if there was anything she felt she needed to do before she died, she said she was happy with what she had done. While not wanting to die, she said, she had no regrets that there were things she had left undone or still needed to accomplish. She exited the world as she lived life, surrounded by those who loved her, and more concerned for those she was leaving behind than for herself.

Mara is survived by her life partner, David Mees, a Foreign Service officer also serving in Jordan. In addition to David, she leaves behind her sad but proud parents and step-parents David and Debra Galaty, Carol Galaty and Gil Hill, her grandfather Ambassador David Popper, her sisters and brothers, Elise Alpen (Joachim), Andrew Hill (Gwen Kaplan), Bruce Hill (Kim Jung), Kassel Galaty, and Laurel Galaty, her nephew David Alpen and nieces Julia Hill and Anna Alpen, and numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom had a special relationship with Mara. Friends around the world on all continents join her family in mourning her passing.

MARA GALATY’S GRAVESIDE SERVICE
11:30 am, Saturday, November 17, 2007

11:30 “Simple Gifts" Aaron Copeland from Appalachian Springs - Trumpet Solo by Kevin Dines
11:35 Interring Mara’s Ashes
Wreath Laying – Brothers, Sisters and In-laws
11: 45 “I Dreamed a Dream” – Elana and Jacob Kraft
11:50 Carol Galaty, Mara’s Mother
Slightly modified excerpts from W.H Auden’s Poem, “In Memory Of W.B. Yeats”

Earth Receive an honored guest;
Mara Galaty’s laid to rest;
Let this wondrous vessel lie
Passing on her poetry.

She disappeared in the early winter…
O all the instruments agree
The day of her death was a dark cold day.

November 3 was her last afternoon as herself,
Surrounded by loved ones; resting peacefully,
The provinces of her body revolted,
The squares of her mind gently emptied,
Silence invaded the suburbs,
The current of her feelings failed: she became her admirers.

Now she is scattered among a hundred citied
And given over to familiar and unfamiliar affections;
To find her life’s fulfillment in another kind of way
And be translated under foreign codes of conscience.
To have her drive and love
Modified and carried on by the living.

12:00 Peter Malnak, Mara’s US AID Boss in Jordan
12:05 Richard McKee, Director DACOR-Bacon Foundation
12:10 Laying of Bouquet by David Mees and
“Amazing Grace” - Trumpet Solo by Kevin Dines

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MARA GALATY’S MEMORIAL CELEBRATION
10:00 am, Sunday, November 18, 2007

Goldberg Variations - Bach

10:00 Lewis Popper Master of Ceremonies, Uncle
Beethoven’s 9th, Ode to Joy

10:10 Carol Galaty, mother, Gil Hill, step-father and David Galaty, father

10:20 Elisa Beth Galaty Alpen, Sister and her husband Joachim Alpen, Brother-in-law

10:25 “Our Love is Here to Stay” – Written by Ira and George Gershwin, the last song written by George Gershwin before he died at age 38 of brain cancer – Sung by Liz McKeon

10:30 Jodi-Burg-Torzewski, Grade School friend and KSK, Jr. High School, High School and College Friend

10:40 “For Mara” – Composed an Played by Jamie Galaty, Cousin

10:50 Luke Zahner, Friend from SAIS, Aspen Institute and Foreign Service friend and Elizabeth McKeon, US AID Friend

11:00 Sally Kux, State Department Friend, and David Mees, Mara’s Partner

11:15 Please join the reception, after the closing song: “Somewhere over the Rainbow” – solo by Joan Maisel Leiman, Cousin and then joined by all present at the Celebration of Mara’s Life.

Family and Friends are invited to mount the stairs to the reception and go through the receiving line if they desire. Mara’s scarf and mask collection, her gifts from around the world will be on display. People will be posting their captioned pictures of Mara on the bulletin board for all to see, and are encouraged to enjoy light refreshments, reminiscences of Mara and to sign the Memorial Celebration Books. Follow-up information on the Mara Fund will be posted on Mara’s blog and will be distributed to all signing these books.

Closing Song: OVER THE RAINBOW

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Music for leaving the Reception - Little Wing - Steve Ray Vaughn, If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out - Cat Stevens, 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - Simon and Garfunkle

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THE MARA FUND
A fund to combat shame associated with breast cancer,
Residing at Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Mission Statement
In memory and continuation of the work of Marguerite “Mara” Rose Galaty, the fund supports Komen for the Cure’s cancer awareness and education activities in countries where shame is the major obstacle to early detection and treatment. It also targets under-privileged communities, including those in less-developed countries, the type of place where Mara was active.

Purpose
Always speaking about her own experience and sharing her story, Mara was a strong champion on behalf of breast cancer patients and the need to be vocal about the disease without shame. Mara participated in a number of Komen for the Cure activities and was even featured at the Portland, Oregon’s first Race for the Cure.

With “The Mara Fund,” Komen for the Cure addresses the issue of overcoming shame through its international breast cancer awareness programs. Using the example of Mara Galaty, who was “un-embarrassable” when speaking of her fight with breast cancer, the Komen for the Cure Mara Fund will promote the local emergence of breast cancer survivor networks in countries in order to spread the message that cancer should not be a cause for shame, that symptoms should be immediately checked out, and that survival rates will go up dramatically the earlier diagnosis take place.

With the “Mara Fund,” Komen for the Cure will strengthen a segment for civil society in countries where citizens do not necessarily have a tradition of organizing themselves around a cause.

Komen for the Cure will have access to photographs of and stories about Mara Galaty and will use them to help other cancer patients overcome shame and fear. Mara’s birthday of March 29, a day on which Mara’s vast circle of friends and colleagues have pledged to perform acts of volunteerism, may be used to rally (breast) cancer survivors around the awareness cause, encouraging them to speak out and educate others who do not know where to turn when they develop a possible symptom of cancer.

Supporting the Mara Fund
Mara’s family requests, in lieu of flowers, that gifts in memory of Mara be made to “Susan G. Komen for the Cure – The Mara Fund”, PO Box 650309, Dallas, TX 75265 or online at www.komen.org/marafund and encourage Mara’s friends and family to keep this as an annual, tax-deductible charity in her memory.